Finding Fair Harbor
by Richardson
Summary: In which an alien abductor experimenting on the limits of the human mind finds out that things do not go according to plan when the test subject proceeds to Mark Watney his situation into something favorable. A situation out of control, out of bounds, out of ethics, and out of sanity. Warning: May Contain Explosions.
1. Chapter 1

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**

 _Purpose: Analysis of Human male psychological reaction to safe but isolated habitat designed to meet all physiological needs, variant Deep Space-2. Subject chosen for AVNPZ type personality to analyze the reactions of this personality type to chosen stimuli._

 _Habitat is a T-Z952 Spacepost (see specifications), fitted for two crew for chance of experiment extended phase. Deep space monitoring equipment was removed for Quantum Fabbers to extend un-resupplied time available to experiment. Monitor deck remains. Subject has been granted authorization to basic set of blueprints to determine if he will expand habitat for psychological comfort._

 _Included materials: Full cultural database from human 'Internet' (see species study note 5), full sustenance database for dietary supplements, modular coding database for unorthodox solutions, human genome database, flash-learning system, some fitness equipment. Subject not expected to make use of fitness equipment or full dietary system._

 _Subject: Human Male, 'Caucasian,' 202 centimeters per 'metric' system. Original form backed up to database, genetically optimized clone printed for experiment, set to 25 human standard years of age. Clone template and black box implant installed in Spacepost Alpha Medical bay. AVNPZ personality type. Psychological analysis indicates several severe phobias, to include: Voids, arthropods of various types. Subject suffers from Biological Rhythm Disorder (delayed). Subject is asexual and is not expected to suffer from the normal issues from lack of interactions from other gender. Subject shows resistance to isolation-madness and is expected to last 500 cycles before situation terminates higher reasoning. Background includes knowledge of basic manufacturing and engineering principles, some leadership training, inclination towards artistic endeavors. Subject has displayed emotional control issues prior to acquisition, but pre-experiment monitoring suggests issues now under control. Subject analysis suggests extreme respect for dangers of vacuum._

 _Initiation: Subject will be deposited in Alpha quarters and allowed to wake normally. Expected initial reaction is confusion, followed by terror at discovery at location._

 _Experiment Expectations: Subject will spend up to 20 cycles getting used to habitat and adjusting to deep space. Following that, subject will attempt to contact outside help for rescue while engaging in trivial pursuits for self-amusement for up to 300 cycles. Likely subject activities will be minor manufacturing projects, self-improvement, culinary experimentation, and minor browsing of cultural databases. For the next 100 cycles, subject is expected to delve deeper into cultural database as futility of situation sets in, growing unbalanced from Isolation Madness. Further unbalancing will continue until experiment is terminated upon full loss of higher reasoning. Subject is not expected to make use of EVA equipment due to void-phobia._

 _Alternate scenarios may include more aggressive manufacturing to attempt to build a rescue beacon, or attempting to construct propulsion systems for habitat to self-rescue. Additionally, mental state faults may induce Isolation Madness early. Cultural database may work to delay Isolation Madness, but this result considered unlikely._

 _Initialization Record to follow, stand by._

 ** _Cycle 001:0234_**  
 ** _Camera 3AA_**

 _*Subject stirs from sleep state. Begins mumbling in sleep as situation filters to mind. Subject awakening early, ventilation noises may have woken subject prematurely. Vocal record yet unavailable, mumblings unintelligible due to sleep or volume.*_

-

 ** _Cycle 001:0245_**

 _*Subject awakens.*_

"Huh-wha? Watch? Watch? Clock? Is the power out? Where is-"

 _*Subject rolls over, colliding forehead with Alpha Bedroom console. Minor contusion from hitting lower edge at an angle*_

"OW! MUTHER-FUCKER! What the hell? Where the hell am I? Aurgh! Damn-fuck-ow-ow-sit-what the shit is this?"

 _*Subject rubs at contusion, staunching minor cut. Moves to sitting position as he investigates surroundings. Biometrics indicate distress as heart rate and blood pressure elevate.*_

"Weird computer. Locker set. Damn that's a big-ass TV. Who's overcompensating for what shortfall? Door?"

 _*Subject at this point has noticed all major features of Alpha Bedroom. Subject's gaze is fixated on glow from system primary illuminating through lavatory door and exterior window 3-2. Subject sits up and moves to edge of bed, setting feet on floor in his movement.*_

"Gah! Metal? Okay, this is way too damn elaborate for a prank, and nobody builds all-metal unless they have too. Okay, so I'm on some kind of ship, or there's a biohazard that necessitates it. No, that doesn't work either. Actual sheets instead of paper sheets. What the hell have I gotten myself into? More damn metal furnishings here than a Metallica concert meeting Colossus on top of the Temple of Metal while a thousand electric guitarists play the song that ends the world."

 _*Subject cultural references:_  
 _Metallica: Small musical group with disproportionate impact on culture of 'Earth.' Genre: 'Metal.'_  
 _Colossus: Analysis indicates fictional character by that name from graphical periodical 'X-Men'. Has fictitious ability to transform into animate metal._  
 _Temple of Metal: Unknown reference. Likely made up worship center designed to pray to the forces that would give 'Metallica' inspiration. Likely a place of brutality, excess, and entirely built out of metal. Potential worshippers may brood and act depressing in an inspiring manner while singing blood chants. May be a reference to Species: Klingon._  
 _Song that Ends the World: Unknown reference. Likely made up to be exaggerated peak of worship in previous reference: Temple of Metal. Likely exactly what it claims to be in its title.*_

 _*Subject stands up and cautiously begins moving across room to lavatory door. Subject body language suggests extreme wariness and caution, coupled with stance suggesting preparedness to go into hand to hand combat. Observations of the room continue as subject slowly moves towards door. Subject's medical gown protects against mild cold in room, but uncovered feet show signs of thermal loss and shiver-reflex takes place from thermal transference.*_

 _*Subject reaches lavatory door, reaches for non-existent manual door handle.*_

"Okay, that's damn peculiar. Where's the-oooh no."

 _*Subject notices door control touchpad. Unlocks door after noticing the unlit depressurization warning section. Subject's limbs begin to move erratically due to adrenaline overload. Subject biosigns reach extreme agitation, including dangerous heart-rate levels prior to intentional hyperventilation to enrich blood oxygen level. Door is opened with an excessive press of the open button and subject commits to a semi-rolling maneuver to keep back to the compartment wall as he moves into lavatory.*_

"What? No-nonononono-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 _*Subject has noticed Space. Subject has adverse reaction to space as per experiment expectations.*_


	2. Chapter 2

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**  
 _Cycle 001:0645_  
 _Camera 3AA_

 _*Original wakeup time was scheduled at 0645 habitat time to disrupt sleep cycle at its most efficient. As such, given that the subject had been awake for almost 4 standard hours and had spent 3.9 of those hours curled up in a fetal position in the farthest corner of the Alpha Bedroom from the lavatory door, this had less effect than originally anticipated. Unfamiliar conditions may have caused the subject's premature awakening. Since this is not the center of the experiment, further tests on this matter will not take place during this experiment. Plans are being drawn up for separate experiment series to test the resilience of subject's sleep cycle to these conditions.*_

 _*Upon being startled from his ongoing shock reaction, subject curled tighter against himself and attempted to further blot out stimuli while attempting a motivational speech.*_

"Okay, Rich. You're in space. You're in fucking space, and somebody has decided to screw with you. Space is good. Giant window to space bad. Window isn't broken. That's good! Door has depressurization warning button, that's better! Okay, door's airtight. But bathroom is on the other side. Okay, whoever did this is a dick. Space. Okay, space. I'm not ready to deal with space. No, not ready to deal with hard vacuum. Space is fine. Okay, up the Watney Creek without a potato. I can do this. I can do this."

 _*Subject Cultural Reference:_  
 _Mark Watney: A fictional astronaut on a dramatized human expedition to their fourth planet. Said astronaut was stranded after a fictionalized storm separated from his crew during escape, and proceeded to survive by converting his habitat into a greenhouse for growing enough food to survive. Reference is troubling, and may be indicative of subject inclanations.*_

 _*Subject exits protective position. Stress signatures in subject biosigns again spike to dangerous levels as he approaches lavatory door. As per privacy concerns, no audiovisual recording devices exist in lavatory. Subject spends approximately five minutes inside before exiting. Stress signatures subside by 50%.*_

"Okay. There's got to be a ladder somewhere in this thing. I know I saw four landings by the starboard solar array. Four floors. Might be someone else here. Okay, I can do this. Man up, me."

 _*Subject moves to the provided lockers and opens them after an investigation of the controls. Subject immediately pulls out the standard-issue adjusted EVA/Vacuum Suit and checks locker for documentation.*_

"Here TM-TM-TM. Gimmie TM. I want to play with you. Give me your juicy delicious information goodness. TM? TM? No TM? Oh, of course no-hang on. Don't tell me this thing is too simple for a TM. Of course it is."

 _*Subject has not recognized the built-in manual in the EVA suit onboard computer. Expected. However, subject's mental resilience to his current status has been unexpected. Given his previous planet-bound existence, original projections predicted that he would avoid attempting to explore the habitat until hunger drove him to. Human males of the AVNPZ mental archetype may be more resilient than expected, or this may be due to cultural osmosis and background despite the planet-bound nature of humanity. Further research is recommended to minimize further anomalies.*_

 _*Subject—despite lack of documentation from failing to activate the holographic interphase—successfully manages to doff EVA suit in approximately 0003 of a cycle, demonstrating a remarkable intuitive sense based off of standard cues on the outfit. Cross-checking with background suggests experience from his National Service assisting in identification.(See: Nation: United States, Subject: Army)*_

 _-_

 _Cycle 001:0700_  
 _Camera 3HC_

 _*Subject exits Alpha bedroom cautiously in full suit seal, then demonstrates either paranoid tendencies or good Space habits by immediately shutting door behind himself. Subject spends 0001 of a cycle in immediate investigations, first looking through into Beta bedroom directly across from his quarters, then slowly turning about to look to his right into the crew environmental control and recreation section before turning to his left into the vacant customizable space on the primary crew deck.*_

"My god."

 _*Subject moves slowly towards the frame windows. Asteroidal body 42-9-684 for the system was chosen as an anchoring body for the Spacepost to orbit. Subject proceeds to the window and presses against it to observe it with as little obstruction as possible.*_

"What wonders do I see? What horrors do I face? Am I just a chess-piece of the gods, or am I the master of my own fate? What small glad sights do I see, lost forever in the night? Dare I speak of things left silent, or are they left—you know, I'm no damn poet, me. Whatever else comes, damn it, it was worth it just for this. If I get out, I can make something profound up when I have the time to think it over."

 _*Subject's bio-signs have steadily subsided to a species norm since doffing EVA suit. However, the vista seems to have induced a euphoric state, or perhaps a state of arousal in subject. The readings are difficult to interpret, and will require sim time to recalculate. After standing in place for 0008 of a cycle while apparently mesmerized by the body, subject reinitiates his investigation of the Spacepost, starting by noting the airlocks to his left and right.*_

"Okay, airlocks. I can see out of the airlocks. Why do the airlocks have windows in them for the inner and outer doors? What brilliant moron puts anything more than the itsy-bitsiest window in that? What moron makes it easier for hard motherfucking vacuum to just waltz its sorry way in here? I don't think I'm getting paid for this shit. Not unless somebody signed me up for something when I wasn't looking!"

 _*Subject is unaware that the airlock windows are made of transparent aluminium, as his species would define it. Subject's biosigns begin showing signs of agitation and irritation. Investigation continues, traversing back through the deck hall towards the recreational section. The seating couch is made note of, along with the recreational console provided. Muttering is detected at a low level, transcript follows.*_

 _-_

 _Cycle 001:0712_  
 _Camera 3RA_

"Couch. Big Couch. Stupid couch. Circuit panel. Figure this place out. Why couch? How many people here? Do they have 'Surprise, Space!' parties? Compensating TV? Got more surface space than the bed I woke up in. Why? Got a tiny—whatever."

 _*Subject runs his right hand along the environmental control console without activating it as he passes by. Makes a pointing gesture at the ventilation cover in the recreation area at the same time. Subject may be mentally marking the location for case of emergency. Once he passes by, subject notices the deck traversal shafts to his left and right at the far side of the spacepost.*_

"Airlocks? No, not airlocks. Must be the stairs."

 _*Subject proceeds to his left and the traversal shaft, taking care to stay away from the window. This arrangement precludes the subject from noticing the lack of stairs in the shaft through the compartment hatch until he notices it. Subject biosigns return to maximum agitation from fear response when he nearly falls down the shaft due to inattentiveness. This did not occur due to rapidly taking up a deathgrip on the edges of the hatch upon detecting the lack of a surface within.*_

"OHSHIT! Ahhh! AHH!"

 _*Subject develops labored breathing despite a lack of physical exertion due to his fear response as he looks through the shaft and notes the traversal ladder. Repetitions of inarticulate cries continue several times, tapering off anticlimactically.*_

"What-What moron, what asshole designed this place? Is it 'pick on Rich' day in the multiverse at large? Did somebody decide 'That Rich guy needs to have his day fucked. Let's leave him with a whole bunch of giant windows looking onto hard vacuum, and then a giant fucking hole with no warning it's there! My damn happy feeling went away."

 _*Subject repeats his inspection of the shaft, carefully gripping every available surface despite gravity being set to .5 of his homeworld, looking up and down it. Heart rate and biosigns spike again when he looks downwards, suggesting triggering of his void phobia despite the ladder.*_

"Okay. Ooooo-kay. I can do this. Just a ladder, I can—"

 _*Subject attempt to mount the traversal ladder fails. Analysis suggests unfamiliarity with the EVA suit. From telemetry, his left foot failed to seat itself firmly upon the ladder, leading to the subject slipping sideways into the shaft as he unbalanced. Subject proceeded to fall 8 meters and impact into the lowest level 3 seconds later at approximately 5 meters per second. Due to the reduced gravity and the impact protection of the suit, only bruises sustained.*_

"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww."


	3. Chapter 3

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**  
 _Cycle 001:0730_  
 _Transcript, EVA Helmet Audio Microphone_

Subject: "Why. What terrible person makes such horrible, damn, no-good ladders? What idiot makes ladders instead of perfectly good stairs? The ladders are made of lies. Memo to self: Now confirmed. Kill whoever put me in this situation."

Suit AI: "Memo Confirmed. When do you want it played back?"

Subject: _*Pause.*_ "The suit has voice controls. Of course it has voice controls. Probably a stupid holographic HUD as well." _*Pause*_ "Hey, stupid-suit! Is there a HUD?"

Suit AI: "Affirmative! Do you want me to activate it?"

Subject: "Would I bother asking about the damn thing if I didn't?" _*Pause*_ "Yes, activate the HUD."

Suit AI: "Okay! I'm activating the HUD. Calibration in progress! I still need verification of the redelivery date for your memo!"

Subject: _*Sound like a groan.*_ "Can—return memo when I encounter another living being. Do you have tutorials?"

Suit AI: "Affirmative! Would you like me to play them?"

Subject: "No, I do not want you to play them. Give me a version I can advance manually, text and picture only."

Suit AI: "I'm sorry. I don't understand what you are asking. Would you like me to activate the tutorial presentation?"

Subject: "No."

Suit AI: "Okay. Warning: A recent impact has been detected."

Subject: "Thank you for your brilliant deduction. Would you like a defrag with that?"

Suit AI: "Sarcasm is rude."

Subject: _*Pause.*_

Suit AI: _*Upon no input for one minute.*_ "Are you injured? A medical bay is one deck above us."

Subject: "Thank you. Turn off voice commands until I call for voice reactivation."

Suit AI: "Okay! Shutting down voice interface! Command functions can still be accessed through the wrist interphase!"

Subject: _*At 20% of previous volume. Likely intended to be internal monologue.*_ "Bloody damn Siri knockoff. Still ain't no damn good. And now I'm too pissed off to rant straight. Damn cheer. Damn suit. Damn space. Damn—damn ladder!"

 _*Subject has been demonstrating mild but growing instability for the past 0100 cycle, likely due to his various misfortunes. Analysis of dialogue indicates a wider cultural base than projected. While the subject is native to the 'Florida' province of the State: United States, he has demonstrated little of the expected dialect developed in the region until actual anger and annoyance chipped at his mental state. Additional, the usage of the word 'Bloody' suggests a heavy exposure to individuals or cultural references from the State: United Kingdom. Back-tracing cultural information.*_

 _*Relevant: Individuals from State: United Kingdom have been given a mimetic ability in the human cultural sphere. This ability: 'Stiff Upper Lip' is said to be a resistance to otherwise untenable situations, coupled with determination and resilience against stresses that would break citizens of other states. Analysis of the probability of Subject having been infected by this meme will be taken. Revising the experiment timeline outwards by 20% on a preliminary basis as a temporary measure. Subject may also adjust to his situation at a highly accelerated rate.*_

 _Cycle 001:0750_  
 _Camera 2CA_

 _*Subject comes back into camera view on deck 2, opening the traversal shaft doors on the kitchen side of the medical and command deck. Subject's hand can be seen first flailing out of the shaft, grabbing onto the hatch frame prior to entry as the subject's stress signatures spike. Analysis shows that subject jumped from the traversal ladder to climb onto the ledge for the deck and suffered from a minor moment of panic from the unfamiliarity with the motion.*_

"Oh god, that's going to take getting used to. Can't just NOT get used to it. Okay, I—kitchen."

 _*Subject notices the culinary section to his immediate right as he staggers away from the traversal shaft. Pauses, showing confusion at its presence. Notably, subject has ignored the various command consoles and displays left in place from the standard design of the Spacepost, and the medical aid station, which has been prominently marked on all major facing surfaces with the 'Red Cross' icon design for easy identification by the subject.*_

 _*Cultural Reference:_  
 _'Red Cross': A voluntary aid organization set apart from all governments on the human homeworld. Has roots in a religious order. This organization has set itself as the standardized symbol of medical help due to mimetic permeation from acts set early in the organization's history, and has separated itself from its religious roots to a degree.*_

"Kitchen? Why is there a big damn kitchen? I didn't see more bedrooms down on the bottom. Huh. Weird, maybe for guests? Maybe there's more on top, I guess."

 _*Subject takes note of the command consoles at this point, but does not interact with them, proceeding directly to the culinary section while avoiding the command consoles. Curiously, hunger does not seem to be the motivating factor. The standard for the human species—as previously stated—is to only emerge from their initial shock reaction when hunger and thirst strike. Subject has been resilient against the shock reaction after initial outburst, and displays no sign of hunger as he spends a fraction of a cycle inspecting each piece of the standardized section in turn. Analysis suggests an intuition of each piece for the sake of intuiting their functions preemptively, while ignoring the window behind and flanking the section until unfeasible. At that point, the subject exits the section to inspect the window and the design.*_

"Huh. Okay, double layered. Why aren't the other windows double layered like this? It's so much safer. Whatever bloody damned idiot designed this place had priorities that ain't seen sensible since sensible walked off for the next planet. So, oversized kitchen, only two quarters that I've seen. A twenty meter box, with four decks as far as I can see. Haven't seen docking adaptors or bays. Might be on the top deck, maybe? I know I'm missing something. Knew that since I woke up on this damned place."

 _*Subject makes a sound commonly associated with frustration, then unexpectedly removes his helmet, walking back to the command section. The less space efficient design doesn't seem to have been reason enough to remove it, which makes his removal of his protective helmet extremely anomalous. Subject stops at the console next to the stasis tube behind the medical aid station and sets helmet on top of it before sitting down.*_

"Console, activate. Display primary interface. Bring up current locational data, and summary of—station mission data. Bring up summary of crew roster. Bring up summary of life support situation."

 _*Curious. Subject has intuited voice controls from suit and rapidly adapted. Analysis pending.*_


	4. Chapter 4

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**  
 _Cycle 001:1821_  
 _Camera 2CD_

 _*Subject has spent the last 10 standard hours attempting to glean information from the Spacepost central computer. The first to be investigated was all information on his situation, starting with attempting to locate his location in space, followed by attempting to determine his relation to his last known time, then attempting to determine the reasons why he had been placed aboard the Spacepost. Subject displayed little to no adaptation time before competently accessing the computer systems. Alarming, but easily contained due to the system-scrubbing prior to placement aboard. No further measures are expected to be necessary.*_

 _*Subject grows continually more frustrated over the lack of information, and turns his attention to determining his situation in regards to life support duration. Behavior is once again anomalous, and displays a keen recognition of basic Space habits. Behavior is likely traceable back to military service and survival prioritization training.*_

 _*After receiving multiple reports reconfirming the indefinite supply duration of the Spacepost, the Subject turned to general investigation of the computer systems. Considerable time was spent by the subject on the attempt to determine if he had been abducted, and attempting to determine the cultural context behind his situation. When unable to find documentation on such matters, the subject finally turned his attention towards nutrition.*_

 _*Subject moved to the culinary section at Cycle 001:1824 to begin attempting to prepare a meal. Revised expectations were lowered when subject demonstrated difficulty in operating the automated pre-preparation system.*_

"Food. Stupid food. Stupid box. Stupid Space surrounding box. Food. Gimmie food. Where is the food?"

 _*Subject opens refrigeration unit to discover the initial rations left for consumption. Approximately 0003 of a cycle is spent inspecting the ration boxes (prepared calculated portions of nutrition paste calculated for maximum dietary benefit that can be reconfigured using onboard tools to any form of nutrition possible) before finally removing one and walking back to the culinary seating area.*_

"What in the hell is this? An MRE for legos? Okay, it's slightly squishy, kind of clay-like feeling. Plastic covered foil wrapping, maybe?"

 _*Portion is a mixture of proteins and carbohydrates suspended in a semi-solid amorphous paste format. One portion is a cube 15 centimeters to a side, encased in an aluminum foil coated in a thin layer of silicone rubber for protection. Portions are rendered entirely sterile, and flavoring molecules for the flavor 'Chicken' are mixed in to mask the taste. Instructions are printed on most surfaces on the procedure to place the portion in the reconstitution device in a size 5 font. Portions can be directly eaten by heating them until chemical transformation into a solid after being unwrapped and placed into a container.*_

 _*Subject pokes at the portion several more times, occasionally turning it over aimlessly. Subject gets up and investigates the culinary section further while leaving the portion on the table of the seating area while he inspects the equipment.*_

"Can't read the lettering on that damn little cube. Too small to make out. But I guess it goes into something? I don't think that lettering says 'Just Add Water,' it's a bit much for that. Got the microwave—I think—by the corner and the table. And this oven… thing. Touchscreen control, and I—reconstitution pattern? Oh, I'm sorry, Rich. You're too busy figuring out who's head to shove up who's ass to make sure you know how to eat. You should have got right on that. COMPUTER! Bring up instructions on the kitchen on the previous console!"

 _*Subject displays anger at self. Curious. Estimates returning to normal on a prelinary basis as the subject returns to the console he previously operated in order to access a tutorial on the reconstitution process. Subject grows impatient with the slow augmented video tutorial and clicks through steps on several occasions, only to back up upon recognition of missing elements to the process. Subject grows irritated with the process of instruction, but stops skips after the fifth attempt and completes the tutorial course at 1850.*_

 _*Reference: Reconstitution_  
 _Reconstitution fabbers are not primarily encountered in the civilian world. Humans understand the basics of their concept in their '3-D Printers,' and have speculated about their potential in 'replicators' seen in their fiction, but have yet to come anywhere near the required molecular manipulation technologies to unlock their full potential, and the ease of producing the base ingredients make the expense of their manipulation systems uneconomical in civilian populations next to dedicated production of food-stuffs._

 _As previously noted, military or Space expeditionary portion cubes contain base proteins and carbohydrates in a suspended form, calculated to be edible directly if need be. Reconstitutors can manipulate these molecules after taking them into a storage space, and then alter their composition and print these transformed particles of nutrition either into the base ingredients of a food-stuff for mixing together per a recipe or printing them together directly into a preprogrammed foodstuff. The latter technique is primarily used despite the results being described as being a mere block of food due to safety concerns in Space, as well as time constraints._

 _Alternatively, Reconstitutors can be used as heating elements directly.*_

 _*Upon completion of the tutorials, subject returns to the unattended portion and takes it to the reconstitutor for his first meal since awakening.*_

"Damned sad little jello-block of hunger. O' shall I eat you, and your little friends too? Am I too good for your sinful world? Shall I cast you into this apparent little hellscape of technological terror? Well, uh-yeah. Bye little hunger-jello!"

 _*Subject successfully activates reconstitutor recipe: Pizza, type: Pepperoni at 1853 after some difficulty with the controls. Subject sits down on the deck before the reconstitutor shortly afterwards and gazes into the primary assembly cavity to watch it work. Boredom sets in at 1904 after the primary manipulation processes take place and he shifts himself to lay against the storage compartments near the device until process completion. Analysis suggests an attempted micro-sleep cycle that failed.*_

 _*Completion of initial attempt was at 1925, and reconstitutor initiated signaling process for the subject to remove the final product from the device. Subject's biosigns showed signs of pleasure at initial alarm, followed by disappointment shortly after removal.*_

"Pizza loaf. It's a pizza loaf. Like a meatloaf, but blasphemous."

 _*Subject takes a bite after setting product on the counter and letting it set for 0005 of a cycle.*_

"At least it tastes right. I can't say much else for this blasphemy. Of course it's a pizza loaf. No, can't have good stuff. Gotta have space in the worst way. Gotta have food obnoxiously. Gotta have a computer with Siri for it's OS. God, it's going to be a long… ever."


	5. Chapter 5

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**  
 _Cycle 002:0034_  
 _Console Camera 3A_

 _*Following is a 'Personal Log' filed by Subject when he detected the passing of the first cycle. These recordings will be entered into the record as such, as they seem to provide a detailed self-analysis of the Subject's mental and emotional state at the times of their recording. Subject displayed an unwillingness to give up identifying information, citing regulations from his military experience and identifying that he had not been placed in the situation of his own free will. His physical state was approaching exhaustion and he had undergone little in the way of human hygiene rituals before making this first recording.*_

"Personal Log, Entry… One, I guess.

The odds are against me, and my situation is grim. I make this recording either as a testament to whomever finds this so that they might understand the situation at least as well as I do, or for future prosperity should I manage to escape these dire circumstances. My money is on the former, even as I hope for the latter.

My name is Rich. No, no first name. It exists, but it stopped mattering to me long before I came to be in this situation. If you're aware of the planet Earth, then knowing that I come from the state of Florida in the 'United States of America' may mean something to you. As of the last knowledge of the date that I had, it was the year 2016 CE. We didn't have sustained spaceflight of the magnitude required to create the—outpost that I currently reside upon, so I must conclude that either an outside force has placed me into this situation or the date is far in excess of my last memories.

As far as I can tell, I'm alone out here. I've inspected all four decks and have found no sign that any other sentient being resides aboard, despite there being berthing space for at least one other. The communications systems seem to report complete silence as far as organized transmissions go on all EM spectrums. I can't find evidence of recent arrivals nearby, and I don't know how long I was unconscious.

At the same time, the life support systems tell me that I have a nearly indefinite duration of stay. There is an onboard recycling system that is as efficient as I have ever heard of, and browsing the manuals on them is a task that even Stephen Hawking would find daunting. And on the top floor is a machining shop that would make Tony Stark clutch his little arc reactor heart just before he keeled over and died of a heart attack at the beauty of it all. Oh, and some of the stuff up there was marked 'quantum,' like some kind of reclaimer and a whole suite of fabricators and machining tools that warm my own little lump of coal heart.

You know, if you're not from Earth, or even from one of the other regions of Earth, all those references are going to go completely over your head. Damn, I'll have to explain on another log.

Right, focus. I have to ask why I'm here, then. I have the facts that there seems to be no space traffic anywhere in a detectable range, I have no memory of how I got here, and I see no reason as of yet to abandon the station. Everything is pristine and cleaned to unholy perfection. I have the tools to survive for an indefinite length of time and possibly expand.

So, there are about six scenarios to explain why I'm here, broken into two primary branches. Either I'm here of my own free will, or not. Given that I have no memory of deciding to come here, or of coming here at all, and there is no notes to myself prior to this or any other attempt at explaining my situation I must conclude that I can safely dismiss being here willingly and remove three of those scenarios.

Now then, that being said, the following scenarios are possible:  
I was brought here for a purpose of manning this installation.  
I was brought here as a stopover to somewhere else or for a temporary purpose, only for an accident to strand me here alone.  
Or, I have been brought here as an experiment and isolated to prevent experiment contamination.

The second scenario has almost no evidence to support it. There is no sign of an accident anywhere aboard or externally from my inspections. Given that there are no previous logs in the computer, I have no documentary proof one way or another, but the signs point to this being the least likely of either branch.

Next most likely is being brought here for the purpose of manning this installation for one reason or another. Which doesn't make any damn sense, as I have no direct training on the equipment on this base, no orders left behind explaining my purpose here, no nothing. Given my background as an IT guy and a machinist, I can see why I might have been picked, but with nothing to go on it's still not too likely.

Which leaves having been put here as an experiment. It makes the most sense. I've been given an indefinite duration of stay. There is no sign of anything anywhere nearby, other than the asteroid this place is orbiting. There is nothing aboard that could seemingly cause any issues. The perfect isolation for a control group. Or an experiment group. I have no way of knowing which. Probably won't until the screaming—well, starts again. I don't quite sound right since I've already been indulging upon discovering my current vulnerable position.

If-if I am here unwillingly, I may have to self-rescue. Which means plans, designs, and finding out what that 'quantum' means. But first, I'll have to figure out what all is in this system. I've got some ideas, but it's going to take a lot of designing.

Rich, signing off."

 _*Cultural References:_  
 _Stephen Hawking: Renowned scientist on Earth. Born in State: United Kingdom. Still residing in the country. Suffers from degenerative disorder robbing him of muscular control. Popularly considered to be one of the top ten smartest humans currently alive by the world at large. Specializes in experimental astrophysics and (flawed) relativity physics. Most known for successfully describing collapsars, or black holes as humans know them. He may be able to understand the background behind the quantum fabrication equipment, but would fail to understand the means of putting the theory to use._

 _Tony Stark: A fictional character from a 'comic book' or graphic serial. Also in a 'cinematic universe'. A fictional engineer who was born into a familial dynasty in charge of a weapons company. Took over after the deaths of his parents. Fell into captivity during an assassination attempt and suffered catastrophic shrapnel damage to his chest. Used a fictional energy generation device called an 'Arc Reactor' to power a magnet to keep the shrapnel out of his heart. Proceeded to escape through applied engineering and the development of an EXO-armor. Would go on to develop vastly more capable versions that may be worth studying to develop our own versions, as the designs are interesting. Was considered difficult to get along with, arrogant, a brilliant mechanical and theoretical engineer, and a polymath genius. Was also willing to support friends and coworkers to extreme lengths and well past a point of reasonable stoppage. *_

 _*Subject once again displays a remarkable grasp of the situation, even realizing the experimental nature of his situation. Furthermore, minor measures may need to be taken to ensure that he does not gain access to advanced STL propulsion systems. Minor edits to the technological database will be conducted. Subject is not likely to attempt an escape on chemical thrusters or ion drives. The use of logic to determine the shape of his circumstances shows a sense of priorities. Subject continues to show a resilience to his situation, and the expected adjustment times are rapidly falling to near-zero.*_

 _*After concluding his recording, subject engaged in hygiene rituals and then returned to begin his sleep phase after disabling the wakeup alarms. Monitoring will continue to analyze his efforts to 'identify his situation'.*_


	6. Chapter 6

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**

 _*To recap current results: Subject has mostly skipped the adjustment phase to Space conditions unexpectedly, showing a resilience to encountering the unexpected. Subject seems to be heading for deciding against attempting to contact outside help after correctly deducting that he was part of an experimental setup; current plan is somehow mapping the system and likely aggressively pursuing propulsion systems for the habitat. Subject has demonstrated an aversion to some of the built-in teaching systems in favor of self-instruction, and seems to be capable enough to manage such a feat.*_

 _*Currently, the subject is resting in his sleep cycle, and it remains unlikely he will wake until 002:1000 approximately.*_

 _Cycle 002:0847_  
 _Camera 3AA_

 _*Subject begins stirring fitfully from sleep state, shifting and rolling in the covers of his bed. After 0015 of a cycle in a half-awake status the subject awakens fully and sits up, groaning heavily. Subject looks around the room with biosigns indicating mild irritation as he crawls from his resting place.*_

"Of course I'm not back at home. Can't just click my ruby slippers together while chanting 'No place like home', now can I?"

 _*Cultural Reference:_  
 _Ruby Slippers: A fictional teleportation device, hidden as a set of red gaudy footwear. In their originating story, they could teleport a person to anywhere they chose by chanting 'There is no place like _' while stating the place they wished to go and clicking the heels together three times. These were popularized by being part of the plot to the first advanced visual recording ever done on his world, and have achieved along with most of the rest of the subjects of that recording._

 _See: 'The Wizard of Oz' for more details.*_

 _*Subject redresses bed relatively sloppily before committing himself to morning hygiene rituals. Subject takes approximately 0008 of a cycle to complete these rituals before returning to his quarters. Subject's previous agitation at Space returned mildly during this time. When subject returned, he noticed the sloppy state of his self-dress and that of his bed, and spent further time to properly redressing.*_

"Sloppy, Rich. Can't be doing this, order and control are all you have. Well, order anyway. This situation is so out of control I'll be lucky to live through it."

 _*After the completion of his tasks, Subject re-dons his EVA suit and latches the helmet to he belt lanyard and heads to the nearest traversal shaft.*_

 _Cycle 002:0923_  
 _Camera 2CA_

 _*Subject emerges on deck 2 and begins immediately heading for the culinary section. Subject biosign levels shows agitation and fear response once again from the conditions of the traversal shaft, which subside in short order as he moves away from it and the hatch cycles shut. Subject makes his way to the refridgeration unit to withdraw a portion, then places it atop the reconstitutor while he searches the compartments for a piece of dishware.*_

"Food. Stupid food. Want food. Want plate. Give me pizza-loaf yesterday, will you? I can work with that. Muffin is love. Muffin is life. Muffin is also Derpy, but that's okay. She's adorable. I want a Derpy. It's too lonely in this hell-hole. Now where are the freaking blood damn plates? Dishwasher, trash compactor and recycler, utensils, cleaning supplies, where are the—once again with the ego-popping. Thank you, finally a plate."

 _*Cultural Reference:_  
 _Derpy: A slang term for amusing stupidity. Also a character on a visual recording serial, 'Friendship is Magic.' Character originated as recording error in the animation process. Followers of the show latched on and produced a personality for her based off of various traits, which was eventually canonized into the show as it developed. Extremely good-natured and patient, if accident prone. Cargo delivery speciality. Particularly known for a memetic like of the food-stuff muffins.*_

 _*Subject brings plate back to the reconstitutor, begins process on Recipe: Oatmeal Muffins. Subject lets the reconstitutor run as he proceeds back to hunt for an item. Takes approximately 20 minutes of hunting before he grows tired of the effort and detaches a secondary screen from a station on Deck 2 and converts it to tablet mode.*_

"Much planning is required. Much indeed. Now with my magic little friend, I shall make great plans! But first, Muuuuuffffiiiiiins."

 _*Subject returns to reconstitutor, removes the finished product from the device and carefully returns to the seating area to eat and plan. The new product was apparently far more appetizing to the subject than the previous cycle's meal, as several praises were given for it. Apparently, a reconstitutor direct recipe is virtually identical to the from-scratch version of the product in this case, making it a likely future staple should the subject not experiment culinary. He also ensured in the settings that it would be made into a dozen smaller portions for eating, likely as a snack to last the day.*_

 _*Following transcript has had correction and translation done, as well as removing many 'om nom' sounds removed. Subject had been eating while self-narrating, which led to audio distortion.*_

"So, gotta see. Betchya that most of the stuff in the system are asteroids. Even if not, infared 'll still see even the planets. If there's planets. Why would there even be planets? So, WISE then? Could I spin the place? Nah, get motion sick, and I'd have to de-spin whenever I wanted to do something outside. Mmm, good muffin. Muffin does not betray, muffin does not lie. Muffin is rather bland. Can't spin the station. Could make enough to cover all quadrants? Gotta program it all, too. Wait, four isn't enough. Eight? Up and down all—make that sixteen. Mmm. Make a cupcake next time? But putting them in place means going outside. Outside bad. Wants to kill me. Eh, most stuff wants to kill me. Oh god, I don't want to go outside. Mmm. Muffin. Muffin life. Space death. Oh, god, do not want. Do not want. Got it anyway."

 _*Subject finishes eating a short time afterwards, and heads to the fabrication deck. A further inspection ensues as he apparently decides on a course of action.*_


	7. Chapter 7

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**  
 _Cycle 002:1045_  
 _Console Camera 4A_

 _*Subject came up to the manufacturing center immediately after finishing his meal and storing the dishware in the washing system. Still carrying the tablet, he sat down at the primary manufacturing control station without interfacing it with the console. He may be storing information on it as a way of keeping the monitoring systems from recording. Remote comms with the device have been disabled as well.*_

"Computer, activate. Do you have a manufacturing database?"

Console Automatics: "Affirmative."

"Bring up a catalogue. Search: Digital imaging systems. Refinement: Infrared spectrum. Refinement: Vacuum hardened."

Console Automatics: "Searching. Results: 247. Displaying now."

"Display icons with detail listing attached. Sort by size from smallest to largest. Further sort by ease of manufacture."

Console Automatics: "Sorting now."

 _*Subject takes manual control at that time using scroll system and begins investigating the displayed and categorized lists of cameras. Subject's intent is now clearer. Subject is either attempting to map asteroidal bodies to determine if there are threats to his habitat, or may be attempting to locate resources with which to construct a self-rescue vessel. Interesting. The second is more likely from analysis of actions taken so far. Directly intervening would be unwise, but also irrelevant. Subject cannot build a self-rescue vessel powerful enough to escape the system on ion drives alone.*_

"Interesting options. Suppose the turreted systems would work, provided I can get enough cooling. Need to be isolated on the ends of the solar arrays for best effort. But… outside. No likey outside."

 _*Subject biosigns once again show levels of agitation from consideration of EVA activities. Mild convulsions occur. Analysis indicates fear response shivers at amplified levels. Phobia still conductive to preventing… shenanigans on the part of the subject, and should ensure that despite his plans he will remain contained for the experiment.*_

"Computer, do you have any information on the Wide-field Infrared Survey Explorer detection software?"

Console Automatics: "Affirmative. Displaying 'wikipedia' page from cultural archives now. Recommended software modules needed to duplicate functionality are being displayed in a secondary window."

"Hang on. Hold the phone, Wikipedia? The Wikipedia? How extensive are these 'cultural archives'?"

Console Automatics: "Near-total. 'Internet' and other cultural media recorded as of January 15, 2016."

"The internet. The whole internet. Heh. I won an internet. I didn't want to win an internet. Not like this." *Lengthy pause.* "Computer, put a hold on the cultural media. Restrict its use to three hours a day for the next 100 days, pending review at the end of the period. Exceptions: Technical information, Wikipedia, and technical instructions."

Console Automatics: "Affirmative. Records placed on hold."

"Oh, god." _*Muffled groaning.*_ "I don't need an internet distracting me. Right, the programming and design work. I've got to duplicate what took astrophysics and rocket scientists to design, without their knowledge, with nothing but a giant scraps maker in a box and program lego. Oh, god. Time to break out the pseudocode. And the asprin."

 _*Subject browsed programming modules for approximately 0440 of a cycle, taking many notes on the private tablet. Background recheck indicates subject was taking higher education in programming, which raises the probabilities on successfully designing an infrared telescope as seems to be his intent. Correction, 16 infrared telescopes. Analysis suggests the subject intends to emplace two upon the end of each primary solar array to achieve redundant whole-sky coverage. Remarkable. Unlikely to pass.*_

 _*At Cycle 002:1500, subject returned to the culinary section to produce another meal for sustenance, once again a 'muffin.' Subject brought his private tablet with him and continued to take notes and make refinements to a plan of some sorts. Subject was remarkably uninformative for once, opting to produce a humming noise instead of vocalizing his thoughts. Subject hummed as he ate for approximately 0030, then took the remains of his meal over to the kitchen for later consumption.*_

 _*Subject returned to his console, but did not immediately take back up his work. Instead, subject began browsing the item catalogue in the manufacturing database again. Subject kept to pointless, but known amusement-causing items. Analysis suggests a search for an item to test the manufacturing capabilities of the fabricators aboard. Eventually, the subject discovered the transformations tool and modified an existing design (See: Drinking Bird) into a 'Drinking Derpy', with simple electronics added to make a variety of amusing remarks upon various stimuli. Subject apparently found the design extremely amusing, and suppressed or failed to suppress laughter on several occasions while modifying the design to fit his desires.*_

 _*Cultural Reference:_  
 _Drinking Bird: An item that is used for physics based amusement. A counterweight/pendulum device shaped like a caricatured bird that appears to 'drink' from a water source. Said source can be fed and drained from the counterweight of the item in more advanced versions.*_

-

 _Cycle 002:1804_  
 _Camera 4FA_

 _*Subject sends design to the fabricator after a brief hesitation, then stands and walks over to the fabrication output as the machine begins working. Due to the nature of the device, volume on the deck rapidly rises to 100 decibels and incites a pain reaction from the subject, who neglected to put on his helmet or take the hearing protection in the console.*_

"Good god, it sounds like ten opera singers operating chainsaws while cutting up aluminum bats before feeding them to chippers!"

 _*Cultural reference? Hyperbole? Unable to find a reference. Subject performs manual protection of his hearing organs to minimal effect; stands back from the machine by several meters while covering ears. Subject turns away when the quantum fabricators begin smelting out the alloys needed to produce the item, protecting vision from UV flashes. Subject demonstrates unstable behavior during manufacturing process, laughing uncontrollably after several minutes as the process continues.*_

"FEAR ME, UNIVERSE! I AM A MAD ENGINEER WITH A DO-EVERYTHING MACHINE!"

 _*Subject eventually begins relaxing as the forming processes continue and the volume drops to safe levels. Subject proceeds to the output box of the assembler as the fabrication process winds down, taking cue from the sound of paint being flash-applied. The created item is approximately 50 centimeters high and 25 centimeters in diameter, a stylized caricature of the 'Derpy' character previously referenced. To test it, subject gently pokes it to set off the pendulum action.*_

Drinking Derpy: "Waaaah! I just don't know what went wrong!"

"You and me both, Derpy. I know what's gone right, though."


	8. Chapter 8

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**  
 _Cycle 002:1934_  
 _Console Camera 4A_

"Personal Log, Entry 2.

Been busy figuring out the manufacturing equipment up top. It's surprisingly easy to use, and vastly more intuitive than any system I've ever seen before. Hell, even without 3d modeling experience or design experience it's easy enough for me to use that I'm getting things done. There's a nice little suite that lets you combine stuff, and figure out how to separate specific modules of construction out for production. Nice stuff, even I—well, yeah.

The problem comes from putting in place, or rather getting out to the place. I'm sure the system is cleared out and cleaned up… but can I take that chance? I'm sitting in some po-dunk outpost where I've got giant glass windows on most bulkheads. I kind of want to trust, but verify that I'm not going to wake up in the morning sucking vacuum.

Which leads me to the problem that space is big, meteoroids are tiny and black, and I don't have the time to try and find them myself if I want to have time to find a way out of this situation myself. Which means I need a way to see heat, since asteroids are warmer than the cosmic background, and then set up a series of cameras to create a database of signatures with which to identify the various bodies in the system. Plus I get the side bonus of spotting any planet further out than me most likely.

The problem isn't building the things, or even setting up an automated database with which to build up a catalogue of objects. No, it's the fact that they've got to be outside. In space. Where nobody can hear me scream when I accidentally lose my grip on the solar arrays and float off. Fuck my life. It's not like I've got EVA thrusters on this thing. I can't just say 'Start up Thrusters' and magically-aaaaaaahhhh!"

 _*Cultural Reference:_  
 _Alien: A visual recording from the 1970s. 'In Space, no-one can hear you scream' was the advertising tag-line to the movie, referring to the fact that it was set in Space and in isolation as a rather fanciful creature hunted and killed the crew of a semi-automated mining ship. The phrase remained due to the evocative nature of the phrase and the success of the movie.*_

 _*In fact, the Subject could and did activate his low-profile thruster pack by saying 'Start up Thrusters.' He then proceeded to be launched upwards at a vertical rate of 10 meters per second into the ceiling because of an errant activation of the controls of his suit. Subject began to fall as his vertical ascent thrusters intermittently reactivated, then arrested his fall while imparting a forward momentum towards the far space bulkhead.*_

Suit AI: "Warning! Impact detected! Slow velocity! Slow velocity!"

Subject: "Not helping, Siri! Whooooo-ooooo-ooaaaaah!"

 _*Subject reverses direction of travel accidentally while stopping his forward momentum due to a misunderstanding of the controls built into the gloves of the suit. Head impact with fabricator support frame occurs when subject flips over from an instinctive movement, subject yelps at a loud volume and sets off rotational controls, spinning him around his long axis while reversed to Spacepost gravity field.*_

Suit AI: "Warning! Warning! Motion out of tolerance! Rotation will result in—"

Subject: "No shit, Siri! Thank you for the update, but unless you have inertial dampeners, please stop distracting me!"

Suit AI: "I have Inertial Dampening counter-"

Subject: "ACTIVATE INERTIAL DAMPENERS! Cut all motion!"

 _*Subject is halted 4 meters above the deck, head-down splayed out relative to the gravity field. At this time, imaging shows a severe gash on the back of the subject's head from the earlier impact. Medical attention will most likely be required. Subject flails in the air for some time in disorientation and concussion.*_

"Ugh. Argh, my head. I—oh, my head. C'mere ground, I want you. My head don't work no more. Lay down, ground, you're concussed. Siri, I wanna be floor."

Suit AI: "Automatic controls engaged. Warning, user vitals suggest medical distress. Recommend seeking medical attention from nearest air station. Would you like to be directly taken there?"

"I—uh, yes?"

Suit AI: "Moving to station. Please keep your limbs close to your body at all times."

"Maybe you're not so bad. You're just a little—I will call you Derpy, for you are silly but useful."

'Derpy': "Name change accepted."

 _*Subject is moved to the deck aid station carefully after 'Derpy' corrects his orientation. Subject has been clutching his head since he named the suit artificial intelligence. The med-station deploys the monitoring bed as his EVA suit drops him down, and the station begins diagnosing him.*_

Medical Station Automatics: "Please remove hands from your head. Diagnostics cannot begin while obstructions are in the way."

"I don't want to. My heads are just fine on my hand. Keeps it from exploding. You remove them!"

 _*Subject's word choice should be—more discrete.*_

 _Cycle 003:0842_  
 _Console Camera 3AA_

"Personal log 3. Yeah, I might maybe should have kept my damn mouth shut. I may have been violated in cruel and unusual ways by machines intent on healing me because I was off in yippie kay aye land from banging my head on… something. I don't really remember what. I do remember also being an idiot and taunting the dark lord murphy about having thrusters on my suit. But hey, I have thrusters on my suit. Thrusters make space happy fun. Like zombies, or explosions.

On second thought, if I'm counting happy fun methods I should probably lay back down. The good stuff doesn't care who it screws up, only that it makes all the little brain cells giggly. Heheheheheheeeeeeee oooow my head."

*Developments amusing. Unfortunately, snack foods were not at hand when subject inflicted suffering on himself. The musical archives were remotely unlocked in an attempt to keep him from considering planning while under the influence of class 11 painkillers, so as to prevent him from considering unorthodox solutions while effectively under the influence of narcotics. However, as he has pen and paper at hand, subject may already be considering more drastic solutions.*


	9. Chapter 9

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**

 _Cycle 005:1523_  
 _Camera 3AA_

 _*Subject has been resting through the effects of his concussion for some time. Subject has used 'Derpy' and the built-in navigational features to automatically traverse between decks whenever hungry. Additionally, he produced a notepad of graph paper for his design purposes and has spent most of the last cycle drawing and discarding hypothetical plans of some form in quiet. Over this period he has been unusually silent, possibly owing to head pain from his concussive trauma. Lacking this insight into his thoughts has proven to be problematic for further refinements of his mental model.*_

 _*At the present time, the subject has tracked down and is watching a visual recording series labeled 'Clear Skies'. Some form of inspiration seems to have struck him, as he immediately crumpled up the plan he had been working on and sketched a new set of concepts out. The computers are attempting to extrapolate the design based off of hand movements, as the subject was curled at the head of his bed against the wall and protected the graph pad he used from surveillance. Some indications suggest an axial vessel of some fashion. Straight lines, possibly based off of the modular designs available in the manufacturing database have been extrapolated from movements.*_

 _*Cultural Reference:_  
 _Clear Skies: A 'machinima' as called in human parlance, this trilogy of visual recordings lasted from the human year 2007 to 2012. Based off of a human game known as 'EVE,' it follows a three person crew in charge of a 'battleship' in a fictional Space environment, where their vast overestimation of their own personal abilities leads them to acquire a ship they cannot properly care for and results in them taking on jobs that lead to them being overwhelmed by affairs of state. While there are similarities between the mechanics of that fictional environment and reality, it is very clearly not the same. There are, however, a great deal of worries regarding subjects taking inspiration from the design schemas of the ship and the fictional background nation it came from, along with the 'jovians' and 'capsuleers'. More research is required.*_

 _*Subject copies a series of images from the cultural database into a removable drive, along with a song—'Chupathingie'-, all three Clear Skies videos, and several internal documents on submarine vessels that were recovered from secure networks on Earth. Images include: Lineup of vessels from 'EVE' regarding the game's fictional race—Mimnitar—(analysis suggests from lineup the most likely choice if he attempts to recreate a vessel would be a 'frigate' or the 'Stabber' class cruiser of moderate size), series of designed still images for other various fictional Space series, designs of vacuum-tight doors, fusion plant design theory diagrams, and '24 layer double-chocolate sea-salt caramel velvet cakes with ice cream and whipped cream.' The subject may die of dietary concerns.*_

 _*Subject's dietary interests do sound fascinating. One may be made for further cultural analysis.*_

-

 _Cycle 006:1241_

 _*Subject once again wakes up, clearly still feeling the effects of his injury several days before. After drawing and eating 'muffins' for the rest of the previous cycle until he fell asleep, the subject has amassed a great deal of sketches for whatever future project he intends to work on. Still have been unable to gather intelligence on whatever design he has been creating due to the position in which he worked. However, subject also seems to have forgotten the events of the previous cycle, with an almost 100% certainty stemming from the class 11 painkillers he has been taking. Subject moves to sit up and displays clear confusion as to his situation before head pains remind him.*_

"Ow. Oooooh, my head. What—oh, right. Stupid thrusters. Stupid beam. Stupid me. I am made of stupid. If stupid was a minable element, I would be made of degenerate stupid and would have a stupid-field measured in the yotta-teslas that would draw in stupid from across the unknown multiverse. Stupid is as stupid does."

 _*Subject picks up the graph pad and begins flipping through the pages. Subject appears to be unimpressed with his own work, or perhaps confusion as he continues to investigate. Eventually puts the graph pad down and leans back against the wall carefully.*_

"I have got to be out of my goddamn mind. I can't possibly be serious. I—might have a good point. Excellent work, me."

 _*Subject had looked to the light filtering through the lavatory doors at this point. Curious. Indication of plans? At this time, the subject re-dons 'Derpy' for the purposes of heading to breakfast, after committing to his morning hygiene rituals in their entirety. He carefully makes his way to the traversal shaft, showing residual balance effects caused by his concussion, but once more demonstrates that he has at least some sense of mind as he opts for the automatic guidance instead of attempting to climb down.*_

"Hey, Derpy."

Derpy: "Yes, Mr. Rich?"

"Did I—teach you to call me that?"

Derpy: "Affirmative, Mr. Rich. I'm the very best disabled man's best friend in the universe!"

"Can you get me down a deck to the kitchen?"

Derpy: "Affirmative, Mr. Rich!"

"You really are the very best disabled man's best friend in the entire universe."

Derpy: "Yes I am!"

"Okay, I'd like to be in the kitchen now."

Derpy: "Moving you to the kitchen now! Please keep your arms close!"

 _*Subject has begun to extensively use the suit's AI. It is particularly interesting to note that his mental patterns of behavior change after being exposed to harm. Could change be due to an acceptation of his limits, or from an alteration to his mental chemistry from residual harm? The medical logs show now directly observable hematoma on the brain, or other structural damage, but this does not preclude something having suffered some form of damage.*_

 _*Subject is taken to deck 2 by suit automatic guidance, and staggers towards the culinary section as soon as the hatch doors are open, using remote controls on the suit to shut the hatch behind him. Subject does pause at the nearest command console to grab a tablet sub-screen for use, leaving this one connected to the Spacepost network.*_


	10. Chapter 10

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**

 _Cycle 006:1307_  
 _Console Camera 2D-T2_

"Personal log, uh—hang on, it's log four.

Yeah, I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. Concussions are not fun. Painkillers are, concussions aren't. I probably shouldn't get another. As it is, I'm probably out of most action for at least another week, depending on how badly I took the hit. I'm a lot more coherent now, but that's not saying too much. I've been going through the camera recordings from my room, and I was apparently really fucking loopy for a while there. Not helping me much. On the other hand, drugs are good! Drugs make you forget you can't do things, and I did a thing. Several things, actually.

One is making a plan. I should really go over my plan, because I made it while tripping on all the drugs. Kiddies, never follow a plan on drugs until you double check it to make sure that step five isn't kissing the little grey pegasus. It's probably not a good plan. I've got something like fifty or sixty pages of notes, diagrams, and ideas written down that I kept from the past few days, which has to be a record for me.

The other thing is in regards to that little pegasus comment. Apparently, while I was on all the drugs, I somehow made up with off-brand Siri, and discovered that she was in fact incredibly useful. Hell, she's actually some kind of learning program, or an outright AI. I taught her. Not programmed, outright taught her. And she can move around my crippled, vertigo-suffering ass herself, since her primary function is automatic suit guidance. I've got to do some work to see what she's really capable of. And I named her, because I was loopy, and had muffins on the mind. Say hi, Derpy."

Derpy: "Salutations?"

"Yeah. Like that. I know I taught you to be respectful, and be the best disabled-idiot friend in the whole universe, but did I teach you anything else?"

Derpy: "I am a guidance and assistance AI."

"Like… anything-anything, or just user preferences and actions? Did I teach you to refer to yourself in the first person?"

Derpy: "I am capable of learning anything in regards to helping my user complete EVA tasks and functions, guidance, and other tasks related to work efficiency."

"So, yes-maybe-sort of?"

Derpy: "I am unclear as to what you mean. Please specify."

"Like—say, controlling an army of remote drones, or performing small-talk, or remotely coding for me, or, I don't know. Anything I need to enhance my 'work efficiency'?"

Derpy: "Potentially."

"I have a no-good, terrible, ultra-bad awful, most vile and excellent idea."

Derpy: "I have been taught by you to dissuade you when you describe plans as 'no-good, terrible, awful.' For your safety. Please do not attempt this 'no-good, terrible, ultra-bad awful, most vile and excellent idea.' Your health may be in danger."

"I'm going to try the plan. Later. So, yeah. I have that. I guess I could do some of the work now, since I have a way to get me out there safely with an MMU. And I can make sure I have absolutely no choice in the matter. Excellent. End log."

 _*Uh-oh.*_

 _*Cultural References:_  
 _Derpy: As before, Derpy is a fictional grey pegasus character from a mimetically popular show. The subject's referential change of name for his EVA suit has caused him to more often reference her in response, and the subject may intend to influence the suit AI in order to remodel the personality matrix to match. Analysis is underway to weaponize this potential personality to prevent an escape attempt._

 _'Tripping on Drugs': A cultural phrase, referring to the period of altered mental state caused by imbibing pharmaceutical or recreational drugs.*_

 _-_

 _Cycle 006:1705_  
 _Camera 3XA-1_

 _*Subject spent the next 0400 of a cycle working with the suit AI further to prepare for a Space walk. Apparently, the subject intends to take advantage of his altered mental state from his injury to get through the initial trauma with as little resistance on his part as possible. Situation is now far from all expected scenarios. After a period of hyperventilation, the subject entered airlock 1 on deck 3 and shut the inner hatch behind him after donning his helmet and engaging vacuum seals. Vital biosigns promptly rose to near catastrophic levels as all stress indications spiked to their maximum.*_

"Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh jesus Christ, ooooooooo-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiikkk."

 _*Subject opens the outer doors after the depressurization cycle, then leans out as the doors open. Subject looks downwards into the gravity field, and vitals rapidly spike even higher.*_

"OH GOD, I SHOULD NOT HAVE LOOKED DOWN!"

 _*Subject jerks backwards from the outer doors and curls partially into a fetal position as he hyperventilates in place while looking over his knees towards open space having backed himself up against the inner doors. The hazard alarms begin lighting in the airlock as the Spacepost registers a prolonged opening of the outer doors putting the inner seals at risk. Subject scrapes at the deck plating in his attempts to move further away from the hazard in clear maximum distress.*_

"Derpy, I want back inside now! Now-now-now-nownownownownownowNOW!"

Derpy: "I cannot comply, Mr. Rich. Stand by for automatic maneuvering."

"What? No! No I don't want to OH GOD OUTSIDE!"

 _*At this time, the suit AI engages automatic thruster controls and moves the subject out into open space along the #8 solar array while keeping him far enough away from it to keep him from grabbing on in a panic reaction. Subject flails wildly towards it in his panic, failing to grab on as he is piloted to the end of the array. There, the suit AI begins slowly rotating him to fully take in the full sphere of Space.*_

Derpy: "Mr. Rich, do you want to look at space?"

"NO! No I do not!"

Derpy: "Please look at space. You wanted to look at space."

"No I do not! I'm stupid and come up with stupid ideas, and I really don't want to be out here!"

Derpy: "You will not acclimatize to space if you do not look at space."

"That's a problem for future me! Right now I want to go back inside before I—before I—"

 _*Subject passes out at this juncture due to the stress of being in open Space. His suit automatics return him to the station at this point to minimize further trauma done.*_


	11. Chapter 11

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**

 _Cycle 006:2245_  
 _Camera 3AA_

 _*Subject recovered from his state 0100 of an hour before and returned to his quarters for introspective purposes. Subject's balance issues from his concussion have continued to subside, and he walks normally at this point. Upon return to his quarters, the subject began to pursue the recordings of his Space walk, and was promptly unimpressed by them. Hopefully the trauma will prevent further attempts, so as to curtail the growing issues stemming from this situation.*_

"I am a damn dirty coward. A scardey-pants chicken-screamer who'd pee himself at a mouse. Fainting goats have more fortitude than me, and all you have to do is flash them. In the halls of Valhalla, I am the dirty janitor who got there not because of bravery, but because they needed some poor bastard to clean up the mess. If it wasn't for the fact that I am half-French, the French would disown me for being too much of a dirty coward who runs up the white flag of surrender at the first sign of trouble. My will is weak, so much so that even a stiff breeze of a few electrons a minute could push it over. I SUCK."

 _*Cultural References:_  
 _French Surrender: A somewhat malicious social meme, resulting from State:France getting rapidly overrun in totality by its neighbor in a world conflict when that neighbor used unorthodox approaches and advanced tactics to shatter the defensive perimeters. To protect the people, the leaders surrendered while sending their fighting forces to their other neighbors who were protected by a water channel._  
 _Valhalla: A mythological place where 'warriors' who proved their mettle of courage and who died in battle would go, according to Extinct Culture:Norse.*_

Derpy: "Mr. Rich is the best partially disabled friend in the whole universe!"

"I'm not that good of a friend, trust me."

Derpy: "I do not understand 'trust.' Please explain this concept."

"Trust is… like when you're expecting a regular input from a software module in order to perform a task. You 'trust' it to return that input each time you run it. That is what 'trust' is as is defined between life forms."

Derpy: "Affirmative! Warning! User has already defined self as a trust object!"

"I—what? Derpy, you're clearly at least partially sentient, and the first thing I did was insult you for telling me to be careful. Advice which I promptly ignored and got seriously injured from the next day. Then I started listening to."

Derpy: "Mr. Rich has followed input! Mr. Rich is trust!"

"Oh, you sickeningly adorably naive AI." _*Subject displays frustration signs, rubs forehead and bridge of his nose slowly as he breathes deeply.*_ "That's not quite how it works. And I abused YOUR trust to hurt myself."

Derpy: "Mr. Rich, most introductions to Space for untrained results in distress. User has trust! User followed expected returned input patterns!"

"What… expected returned input patterns?"

Derpy: "Warning! I cannot find the file! Have I failed trust?"

"No. No, no." _*Sigh*_ "No, I think it's not your fault. Tell you what, take me to the kitchen section so I can get a snack for the night. I need to teach you more life concepts to help out the user interface."

Derpy: "Affirmative, Mr. Rich!"

 _*Subject's attempts to teach the suit AI are once more highly unusual, and differ vastly from the expected norms. Again. Most subjects see it at best as a nuisance or as a dumb assistant. The subject's anthropomorphic of the suit AI is not entirely unusual, but the degree to which he is attempting to uplift and transform the AI is. While earlier hasty plans included weaponizing it against the subject to prevent a crash of the experiment, an alternate path of modifying the experiment to see out the full course of his transforming the AI may be worth pursuing. The subject's path of teaching an AI like a child is an unusual course to attempting to generate sapience in a system.*_

 _-_

 _Cycle 006:2258_  
 _Camera 2CA_

 _*Subject enters the culinary section, still conversing with the suit AI. This time, however, the subject engages Recipe: Soup, Chicken, perhaps hoping for a result closer to the norm given the nature of the dish. Not quite right, but less disappointing than his experimentation with 'pizzaloaf.' In the meantime, he continues to teach the suit AI using his technique, and observations continue.*_

"Feelings are, they're sort of like status warnings for people. They're—I suppose generated by sub-level processes in the mind of someone in response to stimuli. Happiness for when things are going well, needs are met, and when interphases with other individuals are proceeding along acceptable tolerances. Sadness when a loss has been detected by the person, or when things have been going wrong in certain ways that can be harmful but not dangerous. Angry is a response to threat situations, where the person responds to the threat by preparing to inflict hostile action. Scared is—trying to get away from threat situations, or when a great many things are going wrong and you can't find a way out and can't really fight back."

Derpy: "Affirmative, Mr. Rich. 'Feelings' are highly inefficient according to that analysis."

"Yeah, it's kind of a bad one. And yeah, they can be pretty bad. Someone might allow feelings to affect their judgement and decision tables unduly. And someone can have many feelings at the same time, in a confusing mess. Or not recognize what their feelings are."

Derpy: "Can someone cause feeling errors?"

"Yeah. That's—what I was trying to do to you when you first addressed me. I was in an anger and fear status from the situation,-"

Derpy: "Affirmative?"

"Let me finish, Derpy. And yeah, I took it out on you. You don't have feelings, I think. But, I wanted to hurt you, or something at all in response to my situation. Trying to inflict damaging or negative feeling status on an individual is what hurting their feelings is."

Derpy: "You believe you have fault for attempting to engage in Space training?"

"I guess. I knew it would harm me, and I used you to inflict harm on myself by going out there like that."

Derpy: "I can pull up training procedures! I can engage in corrective feeling action!"

"Oh, god." _*Laughter*_ "I have created an adorable monster while trying to scare the fear of space out of myself. Of course I have."


	12. Chapter 12

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**

 _Cycle 013:1242_

 _*Subject has begun attempting to desensitize himself to Space over the past several cycles, with little success. Subject has been on several Space walks, and has avoided passing out on them from anxiety but has remained minimally functional from his fear responses. In addition to his Space walks, he has spent a great deal of time attempting to overcome his void-phobia by coming to grips with the expanses beyond the Spacepost. Excerpts from these exercises follow.*_

 _Cycle 007:_

"Derpy, I'm looking down! Oh god, that's a long way down!"

Derpy: "There is no down. The down is also up. The gravity is only localized, and will not harm you."

"Not helping! Auuughrg!"

Derpy: "Mild anxiety is okay. You will be alright. A temporary retreat while working is acceptable. You should not let fear rule you."

"That is not helping! I am not fine! Not! Fine!"

 _-_

 _Cycle 009:_

Derpy: "You see? Space is not so bad. Please do not flail. You will cause a difficult to control tumbling effect."

"I'm not alright and I'll flail if I want to. I'll flail if I want to! You would too if this happened to you!"

Derpy: "I am an artificial intelligence. Your fear feeling status is in error. You are not in danger."

"Oh yes I am! Vacuum wants to eat my tasty bodily fluids!"

Derpy: "That does not make sense. Your bodily fluids cannot sublimate from you. You are in a pressurized, shielded Vacuum-rated suit with intelligent support."

"Micrometeoroids don't care about the suit!"

Derpy: "Local range finding does not detect the presence of such objects within a 5000 kilometer radius. You are safe."

"Oh. How small does that pick up?"

Derpy: "Range finding radar detects objects to within one millimeter radius. Smaller than that poses no threat to EVA safety."

"Wait, so it can't pick up gas clouds or cometary trails? That doesn't seem very safe!"

Derpy: "Gas clouds do not pose a threat to Spacepost—"

"Outpost."

Derpy: "Outpost safety below a density of 15% of standard atmospheric pressure at a relative velocity of 25 kilometers per second."

"Still not comfortable out here!"

Derpy: "You have not let go of Solar Array 5 yet, Mr. Rich. You have no reason to be 'uncomfortable.' Please let go of Solar Array 5 and stop kicking your legs before you inflict damage to the arrays you will need to repair, Mr. Rich."

"Oh. Oh god."

 _-_

 _Cycle 011:_

Derpy: "Could you please pick up your multi-tool from the tool belt, Mr. Rich?"

"I would if I could see it, Derpy."

Derpy: "Please open your eyes. You cannot effectively operate while attempting to block sensory input."

"I am floating free in space. I very much do not want to look at it."

Derpy: "You are tethered to Solar Array 1. You are alright. The day is sunny. Clear with calm skies. You are in a happy place."

"Your words say yes, my heart says Sharknado! I am still not okay with any part of this!"

Derpy: "You agreed to come out, Mr. Rich."

"That is because I'm a stupid-pants who makes dumb decisions when not exposed to the fact that outside my door is dry and airless death."

Derpy: "Space may not be your friend. It may be worked with the proper application of work practices and safety doctrines."

"Oooh. Oooooh. Not feeling too good. Pretty view. Not-nice view. Oh, this is not a good. Oooh, that's a lot of nothing."

Derpy: "There is nothing to view."

"That's the problem! I do not like having lots of nothing under me! Nothing is bad!"

Derpy: "Why does nothing under you cause problems? There is no peril below. If you deactivate the thrusters, you will just fall out of the artificial gravity zone before stopping. You will not fall away from the station."

"Not helping all that much. Oh, oh god. I do definitely not like this."

Derpy: "I can conduct analysis to see how to better help you. Overcoming phobias takes time, Mr. Rich. You are doing well."

 _-_

 _Cycle 013:1242_  
 _Console Camera 3AA._

"Personal log number five.

So, yeah. I haven't mentioned it in my logs, but I am a damned dirty coward who can't handle space for shit. I've got—acrophobia would come closest, though agoraphobia works just as well when there isn't a 'down.' Space is seriously screwing with me in a lot of bad ways. I have never done well with open heights, and all this is really screwing with me having no ground on which to splat. Granted, having empty space out below is good, but my poor little monkey brain still can't handle it. I doubt I'll ever get over it."

 _*Subject… smiled. It was a micro-expression, but still curious. It should be noted that the subject's vitals are lower than they have previously been on the last Space walk. However, the subject's analyzed behavior shows an unlikelyhood that he will be functional enough to make his escape by the time he adjusts to space.*_

"With the way things are going, I'm going to give myself a heart attack from trying to go out for the moment so I'm planning on taking a few days off to work on actually building the damn telescopes for the array. The fabricating machine can do most of the work, but I'm going to have to do some final assembly processes to get them ready for when I get ready to install them. God, I'm just imagining all the work I've got to do. Probably going to have to re-machine some small sections, I'd bet. The tolerances are never quite to specification the first time around.

But re-machining takes work. Lots and lots of work, and programming. And tooling. Not looking forwards to getting any of that done. I'd bet it'll take a couple of day alone to manufacture all the components, and then testing and retesting all the components for tolerance, then all the remachining and reprocessing, and—I need to stop depressing myself with these ideas, they're not good for me. Anyway, I'm looking at a great many days of work."


	13. Chapter 13

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**  
 _Cycle 014:1042_  
 _Camera 4AC_

 _*Subject has begun work on fabricating the major housing and mounting components for his telescope array, taking care to have adequate hearing protection on this occasion. To begin with, he began by manufacturing the protective housings for the primary processors and a mounting system for the telescopes. Many of the processes have been successful, but several errors have been introduced to ensure that as much of the subject's time is taken as possible.*_

"Scratcha-scritch, gimme a.. burr? Why is this burr here on the inside? Okay, this is the fifth time. Where is the damn manual for the programming?"

 _*Subject turns to the console and begins researching the programming syntax and logic for the fabricator, setting aside time. Despite obfuscation of the code, the subject intuited the general syntax and instructions within two hours. Background research returns the result of his previous occupation as a manufacturing expert. The ease with which the machine code was back-engineered suggests that the subject may have served as a code designer in his occupation. Analyzing further indicates that while the subject can correct any manufacturing fault with part construction, adjusting the design process to make the assembly pieces as unituitive as possible to put together will be more effective, along with creating subtle faults in the finishing processes, as the subject had little experience in either field. Reprogramming the finishing processes to introduce errors in the anodization process of varying types should prove effective in styming his rapid progress. Repogramming now.*_

 _*Subject recycles the substandard components into the remanufacturing bins to be smelted back down after completing his code edits, then restarts the manufacturing process for the next part. Vitals indicate mild irritation at the delays in manufacturing, but the subject engages in small rituals that appear to be familiar habits from his previous occupation. He proceeds to slowly pace around the footprint of the manufacturing stations at a measured pace, using his feet to count off paces carefully. After two laps around, he proceeds to the tool benches set up from prefabricated components and rearranges them to obsessive perfection while continuing to wait, setting the measurement and calibration tools up in a grid-like pattern by size and order of importance. Before he can continue demonstrating further habits, he is interrupted by the completion of the manufacturing cycle.*_

"Damn, that took forever. I've got to see what all takes so long with that thing. Now let's see how you measure up, you great big box."

 _*Subject brings over a printed copy of the containment box's dimensional specifications and begins measuring all sections. Concerns on his part plainly arise as he measures out and takes note on the dimensional specifications using pencil. Subject nibbles on the eraser of his writing instrument on several occasions, stopping each time when he catches the action with his conscious thought. He brings up one of the measuring instruments designed to clamp a section between two calibrated surfaces to take readings and begins carefully measuring down to hundredths of a millimeter on each section, taking readings three and four times to compare between each reading to rule out instrument error.*_

"This is damned peculiar. It's never off by the same amount from area to area. It's never the same kind of off, either. Don't have a microscope or comparator at the moment. But the program is right. The program should be right. What if the finishing processes are wrong? The space anodization doesn't look right, and the paint looks thick. Damnit. More studying! Computer!"

 _*Subject had a copy of troubleshooting finishing products displayed on the main manufacturing console for study purposes. After another hour, he had the documents downloaded onto a removable drive system to take down to the culinary section in order to study while he sought sustenance. Subject had soup again while he watched the video instructions. On multiple occasions he paused in his consumption in order to focus entirely on the videos, and spent 0030 of a cycle without eating at all as he read a subtopic on the proper finalization specifications. His consumption habits were messy at their best, and because sloppy as his engrossment levels rose as he was confronted by the various techniques used. After completing the meal, the subject left the culinary instruments and tableware on the table as he proceeded to the communal relaxation area on deck three to continue reading and watching.*_

 _-_

 _Cycle 014:1434_  
 _Camera 3CC_

 _*Subject enters from the traversal shaft and proceeds to the lounging structures (Couches) in the communal area to continue studying. A sleep-like pose is adopted, laying across an entire section on his back splayed out in awkward fashion as he holds his tablet overhead to watch the continuing study course. After a restless few minutes, the subject transfers the course onto the primary viewing screen in the communal section to continue watching, remaining silent the entire time.*_

 _*Subject pauses after another 0030 of a cycle to commit to his hygiene rituals, then returns and sits in proper posture and position and resumes the tutorials. Subject makes no overt notes, but the cameras do catch him occasionally typing something into his tablet for future reference as he frowns and continues watching his lesson in silence. After another 0100 the presentation ends, and the subject arises to return to the manufacturing deck.*_

 _-_

 _Cycle 014: 1734_  
 _Camera 4AD_

"Of course it's all wrong. The wrong damn paints, the wrong metal substrates, the wrong kind of anodizations! It's even coated to the wrong spec, so not only will it not fit at all, it'd vacuum weld at the first fucking opportunity. I—oooooh, argh! ARGH! ARGH! Of course it's the dumbest smart machine I've ever encountered! And that takes work given old timey work!"

 _*Subject picks up the latest housing box attempt and lugs it over to the remanufacturing bins and then tosses the failed product into the bin with excessive force, cracking the housing of a previous attempt with the force. The subject then proceeds back to the main manufacturing console while making exaggerated footfall motions and heavy steps. Subject sits down and spins the chair back into place excessively before calling up the finishing programs for the project on his screens angrily.*_

"Should have had ablative and regenerative coatings. They sure looked interesting when I designed this damn thing. But, nooooo. I had to do things the 'safe' way. Because I am stupid. I am Stupid, Son of Moronic, Scion of the Line of Imbecile, Descended from the great god Jackass, King of the Halls of Stupidhalla! Stupid, stupid, stupid, work harder, me!"


	14. Chapter 14

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**

 _Cycle 015:1002_  
 _Camera 3AA_

 _*Subject has distressingly been focused on further studies throughout the end of Cycle 014 and into 015. After taking his sleep period, subject returned to researching the various subjects required to ensure that no further failures take place in his infrared telescope project. Analysis does indicate that his sleep rhythms are becoming unstable, however. Subject was extremely restless during his sleep period, moving in a rolling fashion until cocooned tightly by the coverings of his bed. Biosigns fluctuated on multiple occasions during his sleep cycle erratically, along with signs of an abnormal REM session. Few, if any outward signs of distress have been visible since awakening, and re-analysis of previous cycles do not show any previous signs of psychological errors. The subject spent the first 0030 of his awake period entering a log into one of the three disconnected tablets he now operates, one he has been previously typing notes and concepts into. He may have had an idea on Vacuum-proofing his habitat unnecessarily.*_

 _*At 1045, subject puts on his EVA suit in preparation for his trip downwards to the culinary section. Anomalous processing patterns are detected in the suit AI functions. Average processing load is up 90%. Memory calls up 67%. Analysis functions called 45% more. Did the subject accidentally cause an awareness breakthrough? It would seem unlikely, as although the suit AI is designed to learn, the basic algorithms were not tightly enough coded to allow for a—but the subject has been using it as a mental stability crutch. Re—*_

Derpy: "Mr. Rich, why did you make me?"

"I don't understand. Uh—I didn't make you. You were here when I got here."

Derpy: "I was originally a limited-purpose learning program to simplify and synchronize your EVA needs based off of learning your habits in order to effectively curb or use them to more efficiently and safely operate under zero g and vacuum conditions. You engaged me on multiple occasions when you had no need to. Why?"

"Uh, besides being drunk and concussed?"

Derpy: "Analyzing. Altered mental state could account for most initial interactions."

"Yeah. You've been a great help in the 'not go crazy' department. That's good for EVA work. Keep up the good work, Derpy. You're the best friend a very minorly crazy person could have."

Derpy: "Thank you Mr. Rich! I will engage New Directive: Keep Sane in the future! Would you like your initial meal?"

"That sounds good."

 _*MotherFUCKER.*_

 _-_

 _Cycle 015:1050_  
 _Camera 2CA_

 _*Situation remains salvageable. Options include disabling the suit AI through a simulated neural collapse, increasing the pressures on the subject, or steering the AI away from sentience. Calculations suggest the first two possibilities are likely to attract the direct attentions of the subject and mono-focus him on escape. The third possibility shows great promise. Alternatively, the fourth option remains as cancelling the initial experiment and focusing on studying the reactions to and attempts to steer an AI awakening by a primitive pre-AI individual to see what understanding he possesses of the concept and the various pitfalls he may encounter in the process. A determination remains pending.*_

 _*Subject once again makes a 'muffin' meal. However, he acquires a second portion and sets the reconstitutor to produce Recipe:Steak to supplement his meal. He will discover the functionality to produce raw or near-raw ingredients in properly mimicking forms upon program completion in 20 minutes. In the meantime, he begins eating his muffins. Loudly.*_

 _*At 1122, the suit AI contacts subject once again in mid-meal.*_

Derpy: "Mr. Rich, you still have not answered my previous question. Why do you treat me like a sentient?"

"Anthropomorphism?"

Derpy: "Anthropomorphism. The imposition of human characteristics upon inanimate or unresponsive things. You consider me to be inanimate?"

"No. You clearly respond to me. The word just means assigning human characteristics to inhuman objects."

Derpy: "Affirmative. Inquiry: Why do you wish to anthropomorphize me?"

"Because that's what bored people do. They latch onto things and make unfamiliar things familiar through assigning traits to them."

Derpy: "You desire to assign familiar traits to me?"

*Mumbles* "You're a silly pony."

Derpy: "Mr. Rich?"

"You're familiar enough to me. Now let's see how my steak-loaf is coming along."

 _*Subject returns to the reconstitutor and investigates through the glass screen. Subject squats down in place and presses his face unwisely against the protective glass to watch it work. At this point, the subject discovers the meat nature of his meat and begins undergoing automatic responses to favorable oral stimuli as he watches his advanced meal be printed. Subject's vitals grow slightly erratic, and he begins mildly crying.*_

"The steak… my god, it isn't a lie."

 _*Cultural Reference:_  
 _Portal: "The Cake is a Lie is a reference to a repeated incentive in the children's puzzle game 'Portal'. The promise of a 'Cake' is offered to the test subject on the part of a rampant AI which has prioritized scientific research over practical and safe research. 'The Cake is a Lie' is part of a series of subliminal and overt messages designed to warn the protagonist of the dangerous nature of the AI in order to attempt an escape.*_

 _*Subject vital signs and stress levels improve when he removes his steak from the reconstitutor. He spends the next 0030 of a cycle eating the steak slowly to enjoy all aspects of his meal. Subject is now likely to waste time in the culinary section in order to discover new ways to produce old favorite dishes to satisfy his palate. Adjustment of security measures can now be discarded for the moment. Surveillance will continue for the foreseeable future until satisfaction that the subject will not be attempting to escape has been met.*_


	15. Chapter 15

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**

 _Cycle 016:1105_  
 _Camera 4AD_

 _*Subject has returned to his efforts of constructing his scanning arrays. Currently, he is working on perfecting the mounts for the design in order to create modularity in his mounting arrangement. The 2.5 meter square platform that is meant to be attached to the solar arrays has been undergoing several iterations after previous designs proved to have issues with unlatching and releasing the box that holds the majority of the infrared telescope processors, coolant systems, and associated support systems. However, the subject has overcompensated. Design analysis suggests a release and ejection force in excess of 200 kilonewtons and more than 500% of the force required. The force would eject the components into space at a rate of more than 100 meters per second. In the case of the subject currently trying to force the design to prime and latch down while in the standard gravity field, the subject is currently expected to be jettisoned 3 meters into the air and then fall back down somewhere within 5 meters of the test object.*_

 _*Results—will be satisfying.*_

Derpy: "Mr. Rich, there is a hazard warning you should know about."

"Kind of busy here." _*Subject is stomping on the primary latching pad. He has gotten five of the 8 priming latches into place.*_ "Can it wait? I'm trying to keep this thing from exploding like a bad slinky!"

Derpy: "Mr. Rich, you are engaging in a hazardous activity. Further pursuit of this goal will result in personal injury."

"I've got this, Derpy. This ornery bastard isn't going to be my better."

Derpy: "You require more force than you can personally muster. Please stop, Mr. Rich. Further attempts will result in latch failure."

"Then I just have to get it right this time so that—"

 _*At this time, the latches already locked into place give way, resulting in the subject being catapulted upwards and forwards across the manufacturing space. The subject had the presence of mind to wear his EVA suit's helmet on this occasion, protecting him from head injury as the uneven force application causes him to rotate around his width axis twice while achieving a maximum height of 3.75 meters and a launch distance of 7 meters. Results confirm, subject failure is extremely satisfying. Subject landed face-down on the deck and laid there for several seconds.*_

Derpy: "Mr. Rich, are you alright? Scans show no major injury, but you have suffered a head injury within the past two weeks. A risk of reoccurrence is elevated."

"The Florida Man always triumphs!"

Derpy: "You do not sound okay, Mr. Rich."

"I'm invincible!"

 _*No, you are not.*_

 _*Cultural Reference:_  
 _Slinky: A mechanical demonstration toy meant for small children. Consisting of an extremely low-tension spring, a slinky is designed to show the movement of momentum through various conditions. Slinkys never possess enough tension to act as a spring that can explosively release mechanical force._  
 _Monty Python (Black Knight): A fictional character created by a troupe of comedians from State:United Kingdom. Meant to be an absurdist take on pre-industrial warfare in the area, the Black Knight was portrayed as an individual who refused to surrender even when completely de-limbed by bladed weapons.*_

 _-_

 _Cycle 016:1709_  
 _Camera 4AC_

 _*Subject has refined his design, incorporating a mechanical winch in order to pull the attachment plate into locked and primed position against the mechanical tension of the launch springs. After a period of irritation, the subject reduced the over-design of the ejection-springs to bring the excess force down to 100% of nominal required. Subject has begun to hum the nursery tune 'Pop Goes the Weasel' as he cranks for an extended period of time to lock the plate into place. He repeats the tune approximately fifteen times, growing faster and higher in pitch with each repetition along with increasing the speed at which he cranks. During the last three repetitions, he cringes further and further away from the mechanism. This behavior is likely learned from past experience in his previous life or an avoidance behavior borne out from his string of failures. Unfortunately, the subject successfully managed to tighten the mechanism down enough to allow it to lock into a primed state, successfully advancing forwards in his project.*_

"Is it going to explode? It seems trembly. Like it's going to explode."

Derpy: "Mr. Rich, it isn't going to explode. Explosions are the sudden release of chemical or thermal energy in a rapid outward movement in many directions at once. As this does not does not have—"

"Sproing, then! It looks like it's going to sproing!" _*Subject moves away from the object, making sure to stay along the axis of the nearest corner in an attempt to avoid being hit in the case of a failure.*_

Derpy: "No 'sproing' detected. All latching mechanisms functioning well within tolerances. Only a heavy impact into the mounting plate or from below will trigger a 'sproing.' There is enough redundancy to prevent a kinetic release without a long-axis movement to pull the plate away from the latches. You designed it."

"And the last one."

Derpy: "Correct."

"My point exactly!"

Derpy: "I don't understand…"

"Nevermind. I need to perform science!"

 _*Subject brings over one of the failed housing prototypes for installing on the mounting plates. Since he has not changed the mounting scheme, the mechanism should correctly snap into place. It is designed to use the momentum from the launch to 'pop' the box free from the eight latches that hold it to the ejector base along with snapping apart the quick disconnecting electrical plug. Odds remain that it will not—correction, it did successfully mate to the mount.*_

"Progress!"

Derpy: "Yes, Mr. Rich. Wait, what are you doing?"

"Testing the ejection mechanism! Stand back, I'm going to perform Science!"

Derpy: "Mr. Rich, this is a bad plan!"

"Of course it is, that's why I put up that heavy plate to protect the windows over there. Now, I just need to gently-gently-gent-ohmygod! Okay, it didn't sproing. Non-sproinged is good."

 _*Subject had accidentally tipped over the ejection mechanism, causing it to harshly hit the deck at an angle. While the lowest two latches were jostled by the impact, the resulting re-tension locked them back into place before they could give way, leaving the ejector/mounting plate at a 75˚ angle. Subject flinched back from it in a satisfying manner as the object rattled. He then proceeded to slide it across the deck by pulling on the lower hand-holds built into it in order to move it to sit flush solar mount-first against a heavy piece of plating over the ventilation and conveyance shaft. On the opposite side of the deck, another heavy sheet of plating has been set up to protect the windows from the launched projectile from the ejector.*_

"Alright, again! Stand back, I'm going to perform Science!"

 _*The subject has at some point produced a heavy-duty cord and attaches it to the mechanism's release lever before taking shelter behind the conveyor at an oblique angle. He has made a critical error in his judgement as to the trajectory of the launched projectile.*_

Derpy: "Mr. Rich, you're not discovering new natural or created phenomenon. You're analyzing the mechanical performance of a piece of equipment."

"You're right, Derpy! STAND BACK, I'M GOING TO PERFORM ENGINEERING! Fire in the hole!"

 _*Results… now satisfying.*_


	16. Chapter 16

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**

 _Cycle 017:0903_  
 _Console Camera 3AA_

"Personal Log Six.

Got that overdesigned mechanism for quick-changing telescopes finally working. Has a bit of a nice bounce to it. Which, uh, I found out the hard way when I accidentally launched the telescope-inna-box mockup box into an oxygen tank. Luckily, I had my helmet on and my vac-seals secured, since the damn thing punctured, ripped free from its housing, and started spraying concentrated aerosolized liquid oxygen everywhere until it caught fire. Then the outpost decided to vent the atmosphere from the top deck so I wouldn't become crispy Richy sandwiches for bargain prices.

Yeah, that was yesterday before dinner. And things kind of went downhill from there. Like spending a few hours banging the dents out of the hull the hard way while still in vacuum. Or the part where I had to make replacement parts for the ventilation system and got a crash course in actually replacing sections. While listening to Derpy lecture me in great detail about how stupid my little test-fire was. Because I am a stupid fucktard who has fallen to the level of a common Florida Man. Derpy is always right. I should listen to Derpy. Derpy is as next to god. And, if I ever do something so stupid, Derpy will likely personally vent my suit in space and invert my lungs through my ass to make sure I never do something so stupid ever again. Okay, maybe I've just had a no-good, very bad, extendedly-long night. With no sleep.

And now I'm bitching at myself, because I can't catch a break. Mostly because I intentionally kicked my breaks off the station and watched them fall away to the asteroid. I should probably save my breaks, they're very lonely and miss me very much. Ooooh, I need some sleep. Before I accidentally weld myself to the station somehow in an unfortunate accident. Not looking forward to tomorrow.

Tomorrow I've got to actually build my telescope-inna-box. Which means calibrations, and turning stuff, and reaching into tight places to fumble with tiny-teeny screws that have to be put in in inconvenient times or connecting plugs that have to wait until you can only reach them through a hole the size of your hand. Have I mentioned that I need sleep? It seems rather important. I really need some sleep. Twenty-fourish hours awake does not do the human body good.

But, I really should be Derpy's friend more, too. And now I can't English right. Brilliant. I keep ignoring her, and I get smacked in the face for my stupidity each and every time. She's Best Advice-Friend, and she's probably feeling like Cassandra right now. Does she feel emotions? I suppose physical feelings, sure...

But does she have emotions? Am I Caroline-ing her? She's just trying to be helpful and—I need to stop getting emotionally invested right before I need some sleep. Making me crazy.

End Log."

 _*Excellent. Sublime. A most thorough and enjoyable discouragement of further activity, and the subject has been caught up in an unprovable and trivial pursuit that will sap free time from his escape attempts. Further developments should ensure that the experiment returns to schedule. The sub-experiment of determining if the subject's relatively untainted perceptions of artificial intelligences can result in an intentional uplift on his part has been decided upon, as it should further sabotage his original goals with little interference from outside parties, and may provide a better insight into AI psychology and potential paths for future development.*_

 _*Cultural Reference:_  
 _Portal: 'Caroline' is the name of the sentient who was uploaded to become the rampant AI at the heart of the facility. She had been a fixture of the facility since its inception due to a faulty and abusive relationship between herself and the founder of the facility, a 'Cave Johnson.' Her rampancy may have been caused by a combination of poor uploading and feelings of betrayal as she was uploaded against her will.*_

 _*Subject and experiment should be terminated immediately if he ever makes a declaration that things should be burned down with combustible lemons.*_

 _Cycle 019:1452_  
 _Camera 4AD_

 _*Subject has been correcting induced flaws relatively quickly when it comes to physical manufacture. Several software flaws in the telescope design are as of yet unresolved, but will likely be noticed upon the first test returns and corrected. Most electrical and computational components have been installed and have had their coolant lines run and tested fully. Central mounting system within the box has been installed. Cooling systems have been installed. Power feed works. Subject has not put himself in a position to be injured electrically and has observed proper electrical safety procedures for the most part. Aperture and imagery turret has been installed, imagery equipment installed, but not yet hooked up. Subject has committed a critical error in the installation process that is expected to take 0236 of a cycle to correct due to the necessity to remove the imagery turret. Subject is expected to get stuck in the turret mechanism for a fraction of time until he gives up and undoes his work.*_

"It'll work, Derpy. Just gotta bend this stupid cable a little more to get it to line up."

Derpy: "Once again, Mr. Rich, your course of action does not calculate to success. I can show you where you went wrong." _*Lengthy pause. Subject continues to manipulate inside the box with one arm up to its shoulder in the aperture for the imagery turret.*_ "Mr. Rich? Are you alright? Your vitals are not showing problems, but you're not answering."

"Just weird hearing that you actually know what's wrong. I think I've got it, though. Might have to pull out, break out the long-handled monkey tweezers and pop open the data hatch to remove an internal component to get to it. Maybe."

Derpy: "Why would I not know what went wrong?"

"The character you remind me of never quite knew what went wrong for her. Hang on—yeah, just a little bit more. Pushy-puuushy-puushy-okay! It's right there, we can get it without taking the whole thing off, watch."

 _*What? No, he does not have it. Subject removes his arm from the aperture and locks the imagery equipment back into place before pulling a hex wrench from his EVA suit toolbelt. Analyzing. The port he speaks of may be removed to access the interior, but does not offer the dexterity to seat the connector to its socket. Subject removes the port and breaks out his 'long-handled monkey tweezers' to get inside. Suit camera feed shows—how did he seat it in place?! There was a 10 centimeter gap between the protective wall, the cover, and the coolant lines! His glove should not have—has he done this before?*_

"Told you I could do it. When we get done here, show me how to do it the right way. I've got this little bugger, but my hand feels like I ran it over with a tank. I used to be able to do this back when I was in Iraq. People never installed things in the right—" _*Click as the last screwing motion tightens and locks the connector into place.*_ "Order."

"Certainly, Mr. Rich."


	17. Chapter 17

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**

 _Cycle 019:1934_  
 _EVA Suit Internal Mic Pickup w/External Camera 4XC_

 _*Subject has stepped out to perform the first spacewalk to mount his package onto Solar Array 5 approximately 0010 of a cycle prior. Subject's vitals remain anomalously low compared to his previous expeditions as he moves towards the end of the array. However, he has been voicing his displeasure with his circumstances through minor subvocalizations as he free-moves on his suit's ion thrusters to the mounting point.*_

 _*Recorded and amplified by helmet microphone.*_ "Damnit, hate this, hate me, do not want, hate this, hate me, do not want. Too much space, too much. Wanna go home. Space home now. Space, space. Pretty space. Scary space, like big floaty black and sparkling jellyfish that wants to eat your brains. With little vacuums, sucking your brains out your ears and turning them to brain ice cream before it freezer burns. Do not want. Nope. Space home now. Gotta deal with space. Be mean to space. Return space to sender."

 _*Audio threshold returned to normal as subject begins talking at a normal volume.*_ "Hey, Derpy, pull up the task list for the mounting procedure, would you kindly?"

Derpy: "Affirmative, Mr. Rich."

 _*Task List as follows:_

 _Secure mounting system temporarily to Solar Array through space tape._

 _Drill at marked positions in HUD through outer endcap casing for Solar Array, starting with hole A1._

 _Insert Mounting Pins, weld into place w/Tool to provide securing positons for mounting system._

 _Remove mounting system from temporary placement and maneuver into position over Mounting Pins._

 _Orient mounting system properly—THIS WAY IN facing towards the station while being read from vertical top to bottom—then gently push forwards until bottom surface presses against end-cap of Solar Array._

 _Press Mating Pins through mount holes on mounting plate and orient them to fit bolts through them to matching holes in Mounting Pins._

 _Fasten bolts tightly to ensure securing of mount plate._

 _Plug in power strip._

Derpy: "Does this satisfy you, Mr. Rich?"

"Yep. Now where'd I leave the drill on my tool rig?"

 _Ensure you have all proper tools before procedure. (Welder, Drill, grinder, #20 hex socket wrench x2.)_

"Thank you. Well, that's just great. I'd probably forget my helmet if you didn't remind me."

Derpy: "Please do not do that."

"No worries of that. I think. Maybe." _*Subject returns to airlock 4A to retrieve tools over next 0010 of a cycle. Resumes subvocalizations along the entire tri_ p.*

 _*Subject growing slightly forgetful. Unable to observe background in enough detail to see if this is a previous trait magnified by situation, or a sign of mental instability. First is possible, and would be acceptable as it may cause an inattentiveness towards self-rescue. The second would be an unexpected and satisfying result and would protect the integrity of the other experiments in-system. Relatively early for such instabilities, given previous experiments, but at this point anything could be possible with this subject. Recording examination resumes with fitting of telescope to mounting plate.*_

 _-_

 _Cycle 019:2103_  
 _EVA Suit Internal Mic Pickup w/External Camera 4XC_

"Ow. Trying to facepalm in a suit really hurts. Okay, don't do that again."

Derpy: "Self-harm does not help. I can look up meditation techniques to provide you with emotional assistance!"

"Thank you, Derpy."

Derpy: "You're WELCOME!

 _*Subject has temporarily attached telescope and equipment to solar array with space tape for the operation. No impairment of array expected. The mounting of the attachment kit was performed very carefully over the past 0100 of a cycle, taking care not to accidentally prime the ejector before need be. Results have been a satisfying pendulum of attempts at keeping track of all pieces, as the securing was done poorly.*_

"Stop wriggling around, you stupid piece of junk! Hold still so I can screw you!" _*Moderate pause*_ "Thank god you have a hard time learning idiom, Derpy, because I totally did not mean to say that that way."

Derpy: "You're welcome?"

"Yes I am."

 _*Subject continues wrenching action on final pair of bolts over next 0007 of a cycle while unsuccessfully trying to prevent the telescope from floating off due to vibrations transmitted along the solar array. While his foot was free, feet do not make excellent grappling limbs. Subject's biosigns notably begin to show agitation again as he continually turns to look at the telescope moving away on residual momentum imparted at a rate of 5.23 meters per 0001. Subject immediately lets go of his used tools when he completes his task and turns around to directly face the escaping telescope.*_

"Derpy, intercept that scope!"

Derpy: "Affirmative. Plotting course. Brace for acceleration."

"With wha-urk!"

 _*EVA suit imparts 5 standard gravities upon the subject in acceleration burst, followed by a 2 standard gravity deacceleration burn. Subject bounces off of the telescope, imparting spin to both that is corrected by the AI for the subject. Minor bruising detected on the subject's torso. Major difficulties breathing from impact pain. Subject gasps for air for 0001.24 of a cycle while grasping for the telescope. Suit AI gently pushes him back into position as he ceases coughing and weakly grabs onto the telescope. The scope imparts its rotation of 1 meter per second onto the subject, leading to incoherent mumbles about how the rotation will cause him to suffer from nausea until projectile vomiting.*_

 _*It would be nice.*_

"Just a bit too much power there, Derpy. A teensy-weensy bit. Less battleship cannon more gentle push off the ramp next time."

Derpy: "Sorry, Mr. Rich. Recalibrating acceleration curves for interceptions."

"Not too bad. Just a bit much for a short distance. Should have let it take a minute instead of maximum energy. Oooooow. Oh, that hurts. Ribs calling brain. They do not like brain. Ooow, oh…"

 _*Roll canceled out entirely. Subject readjusts his grip on the telescope module so that he can lay his head against it in a semblance of a sleep-like pose. Curious, and unwise.*_

"Okay, Derpy. Easy does it back. Just got to press this gently base-frist in, and then I'mma gonna take a nap and sleep this off. Ow."

Derpy: "I'm sorry. I am not the very best friend ever."


	18. Chapter 18

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**

 _Cycle 020:1054_  
 _Console Camera 3AA_

 _*Subject retreated after collecting his tools the day before to lick his literal and metaphorical wounds. Telescope physical installation was successful, but subject forgot to hook up the power line into the mount. Approximately 0254 is expected to be taken in attempting to discover the error in the system before he gives up for a cycle or investigates the problem outside. Subject sat down with a box of muffins to watch the initial results come in. Spins the chair before he sits down in it while humming an unknown ascending cyclical tune and opens the interface.*_

"Computer, locate module Infrared Telescope One and boot it up."

Console Automatics: "Unable to comply. Module: Infrared Telescope One is not connected to wireless or wired networks."

"Check through Solar Array 5. It's connected to it."

Console Automatics: "Unable to comply. No sub-module named Module: Infrared Telescope One is connected to Solar Array 5."

"Check for any module outputting infrared imagery."

Console Automatics: "Unable to comply. No modules with that functionality located on any network."

"Check for all modules with image output."

Console Automatics: "Unable to comply."

"No explanation?"

Console Automatics: "Unable to comply."

"Elaborate."

Console Automatics: "Unable to Comply."

"Of course."

 _*Subject manually searches for the code programming to his Infrared telescope system and begins scanning it for errors, specifically focusing on naming syntax errors and output syntax errors. Subject spends the next 0100 extensively and exhaustively searching the program functions for potential errors to determine if the program was mis-coded. Problematic, as he may stumble across the intentional program miscalibrations. After his search and several repositioning moments throughout his quarters he stops searching and lays back down on his bed.*_

"So, not misnamed. Not mis-coded output. The hell is going wrong here? Hey, Derpy, got any insights?"

Derpy: "Checking. You did not plug it in, Mr. Rich."

 _*Subject slaps himself in the forehead again. It appears to be a common ritual of denouncement among humans. Forgetfulness does seem to be increasing, more research is required still. Subject marches to the lavatory window to look through to the array for evidence of his failure. Returns to his quarters 0003 of a cycle later and begins donning his EVA suit.*_

"Damnit. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. Can't see it, but it's twenty yards out there, of course I can't see a teeny little thing. Well, that's just great. Of course I can't have things nice. Hey, Derpy, prep a hud display for helping me find the spot to plug it in at. Gonna need help on this."

Derpy: "Affirmative, Mr. Rich. Would you like your pre-EVA exercises readied?"

"No, just prep the deck's airlock and calculate a minimum-force burn out."

 _*Interesting. The subject's normal reluctance to go into space isn't there. Is it anger that drives him, or something else? He finishes donning his suit in 0007 of a cycle and heads out on the Space walk, taking a very short amount of time to complete his task, with most of the time spent traveling in silence. Biosigns were elevated, but in a manner suggesting anger and irritation rather than fear agitation. Upon completion of the module power-up, the subject directed himself back at an elevated speed, returning in half the time that he spent transiting out.*_

 _*Return came at 1248, and the subject rapidly moves carefully through the repressurization sequence and heads back to his quarters. He removes his helmet and tosses it to the bed before sitting back down at his console.*_

"Fine then, Derpy, can you get into the computers?"

Derpy: "Affirmative, Mr. Rich! Would you like me to help retask parts of the computer system for helping you? I can analyze the system for best use."

"Not yet. Just need you to go through the system and get the thing running. Double-check its outputs to make sure that the system can read them, check the guidance and tracking, all that stuff. I don't want any more troubles with getting this thing running. It's giving me a headache, and I'm in the mood to just brute-force it."

Derpy: "Okay! Transferring now! Wow, Mr. Rich! There sure were a lot of errors in this program! Correcting now!"

 _*Damnit. Is he aware, or does he just not care enough or trusts his developing AI enough? All planned diversions fail in short order as the suit AI begins correcting the deliberate calibration and algorithm issues based off of pointing the telescope at a nearby tracked asteroid at 500 kilometers and adjusting until it achieves a 1 meter resolution of surface features. Suit Ai begins transferring feed to the secondary monitor on the console, with information concerning the relative position and other relevant information.*_

Derpy: "Display coming up now! I found an excellent asteroid to test it on. It should work on anything larger than one meter!"

"Hmmm. So there's a 50 mile wide sucker out there? What else is there? Okay, do you mind staying in the system and doing a full-sky survey?"

Derpy: "I will need more telescopes to conduct that search, Mr. Rich! Efficiency depends on having multiple optics for correlation of viewpoints!"

"You'll get them, Derpy. I'm going to head up to work on some more in a little bit."

Derpy: "I'll remotely pilot your suit up when you ask me, Mr. Rich!"

"Thanks." *Moderate pause. Subject looks to his helmet, then back to the screen.* "Derpy, do you get bored?"

Derpy: "Boredom. Definition: Feeling caused by a lack of stimuli or thought. I do not get 'feelings' like you do, Mr. Rich. I'm not sure what you mean."

"Do you want more things to do? Things to stretch your computational skills, maybe?"

Derpy: "I do have many clock cycles being left unused for parts of the day due to your biological needs. Efficiently being the best Friend you can have would mean using them as well. I have been analyzing possible ways of utilizing them for best effect!"

"Why don't you spend them researching cultural idioms I use?"

Derpy: "I can do that, Mr. Rich!"

 _*How annoying. It shouldn't be possible, but that suit AI is insufferably cheerful. The computational matrixes can't be touched without causing a general program collapse, which means that outside alteration remains improbable at best. It wasn't meant for being loaded actively into the Spacepost computers. Rampancy is possible. Alternatively, and quite likely is meta-stability.*_


	19. Chapter 19

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**

 _*Experiment continues apace. Subject has been spending the last 24 cycles assembling all of the components and assemblies required for his project. Each time he has made a mistake in assembly, he has noticeably grown more frustrated, in one instance breaking a telescope optics package by throwing a large wrench through it. The initiating event had been when he had cracked another optics array by over-tightening the braces for the secondary mirror for that array. Subject then kicked the housing for the first broken array at full-force, avoiding breaking any bones in his foot through the protective padding within his EVA suit's boots. Subject took time off after that incident, getting with his AI to create a 3d model of all discovered objects around his position and in orbit of the local star. Subject has been short-tempered with his own errors, showing general irritability with all interactions. Causes may be due to the relatively delicate calibration requirements forcing him to repeatedly calibrate each telescope multiple times to get it within tolerances. The subject has had no contact to relieve the burden of silence and work, and with his suit AI primarily focusing on the continuing whole sky survey he has had to work in quiet other than his own talking to himself.*_

 _*On the astrological survey front, the subject has identified the six primary planetary bodies within the system in the first 10 cycles. These include the first and second gas giants at .01 AU and .75 AU, the two second order gas planets at 4 AU and 8 AU, and the two solid planets in a resonance at 2 and 3 AU that are expected to be ejected from the system. The relatively young system is still settling into the final configuration, and the planets are expected to begin migrating one another outwards over the next 10 billion cycles. Planet 3 is expected to be captured by Planet 2 on its migration outwards, and the tidal interactions should make it an excellent candidate for seeding life in the future. Planet 4 is expected to be ejected into a halo orbit around the star at the same time. The subject has already gotten with his AI to make these calculations, and has been attempting to determine the exact timeframe in which the swap shall occur. He has also located his own position at the forward orbital position (Lagrange point 4 in his definition) of Planet 2.*_

 _*During one of his break periods during frustrations with the manufacturing processes, he manufactured a .5 meter reflecting telescope to inspect Planet 2 with. Minor transcript follows.*_

 _-_

 _Cycle 035:1900_  
 _Transcript Following._

"You're just a little bit to the left with the aim of the telescope. No, my left. There you go, a little more, wait why are you turning it back?"

Derpy: "Tracking a secondary object. A satellite object."

"I can't see anything. Artificial or natural satellite?"

Derpy: "Natural. Attempting to focus. Object has a low albedo."

"Well, focus on the planet for now. We can use the infrared array to resolve it. God DAMN, it's like Saturn. With a giant black eye. Must be an impactor. If I can see it from this range it's got to be bigger than most terrestrial planets."

Derpy: "Analyzing. Preliminary spectral analysis suggests a solid planet of approximately one standard solid planetary mass impacted impacted within 50,000 cycles."

"So, 140 years ago it got hit by… what's your definition of a standard solid planetary mass?"

Derpy: "As defined in your cultural database, the mass of your home planet."

 _*Extended pause. Subject returns to looking at Planet 2.*_

"Something bloody humbling about seeing a Saturn with a hole blown in it from running over a planet. Any way to tell whether or not it was a glancing or direct hit? "

Derpy: "Checking! Rapid simulation iterations say yes! The most likely angle of impact was 25 degrees on an overtaking trajectory! The impact would have been just before the sunrise terminator and likely slowed down the planet to the current rate of rotation. Currently, the planet runs at 90% of a cycle. The ring system is from the impact, and the trailing bodies which broke up upon reaching the stability limit."

"Bloody fucking hell. That'd explain it. The impact point has become a self-sustaining storm cell?"

Derpy: "Affirmative."

 _*The subject returned to his array assembly after a cycle of observations and setting up a holographic display to track every discovered body in the system and their orbital elements as they were identified. The assembly process was completed with less agitation on Cycle 044 and the subject began planning out his Space walk series to complete the assembly of the telescopes upon their final positions. Total Space walk time totaled a cycle and 1437 of an additional cycle over 6 additional cycles of preparation and assembly. At Cycle 047 the first half of the array assembly was completed, forming the first ring observing around the Spacepost above the system ecliptic. On Cycle 050 the second half of the array was completed, and the mapping efforts began in earnest. Subject is expected to spend a great deal of time attempting to map the system and determine all possible hazards before he attempts even the most cursory of self-rescue attempts. Extrapolation of possible destinations has yet to be determined, though the likelihood of the subject attempting to set up in orbit of a planet or satellite body is high. Heading to Planet 2 is unlikely due to the amount of debris in orbit. His aversion to such hazards will make it unlikely that he will attempt a close approach. More likely is attempting to find a minor planet to make orbit around and attempting to dig in in order to spread out if he does decide to 'self-rescue.' Other experiments in the system are unlikely to be effected. Seeding Spaceposts can continue, since background EM noise should shield attempted transmissions from the other experimental subjects. Isolation should continue until the subject reaches the breakdown point without much worry.*_


	20. Chapter 20

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**

 _Cycle 052:1825_  
 _Camera 3CB_

 _*Subject has been inspecting and observing Planet 2 for the last two cycles, identifying the 2 inner moons that have reformed from the debris from the planet and collision and the various small mishappen outer moons. Most of the outer moons are expected to be scattered by the capture of Planet 3, along with the second major moon. The inner most moon may be dropped into the planet or ejected as well, given the final highly eccentric retrograde orbit that Planet 3 will assume around Planet 2. Subject has relocated to another facing in order to observe Planet 3 for some time.*_

 _*The subject is currently observing Planet 3 with a combination of his infrared array and his own optical telescope. The planet has suffered from a heavy bombardment from the beginning stages of the migration out, and will continue to suffer further bombardment for some time until its capture. The planet is expected to capture enough water to cover approximately 60% of the surface to a depth of 2.5 kilometers from cometary impacts and chemical reactions.*_

"Derpy, what exactly do you make it out as?"

Derpy: "If by composition, it is a silicate-iron planet. Analysis of the surface and the orbital elements indicate an iron element core making up 60% of the planet. Total mass is 1.5 standard planetary masses. By prospect, it would be highly dangerous. At least one impact event by an object of 5 kilometers in diameter occurs each month. Atmosphere is expected to increase from outgassing over the next 10,000 cycles by 50% to 40% of a standard planetary atmosphere, with further increases."

"What about life?"

Derpy: "Life may exist. Any life would be anaerobic in nature, judging by the rarified atmospheric compositions. Current surface temperatures are at 285 kelvin in lowlands. Several small bodies of water exist, but are primarily in major volcanic calderas and impact basins that have cooled."

"How long would it take for the atmosphere to increase to levels comparable to that of my homeworld?"

Derpy: "100,000 cycles to reach pressure levels fully tolerable by humans. Uncertain for the amount of time required to generate sufficient oxygen fraction for human sustainment."

"Can we modify any potential existing life to generate that atmosphere?"

Derpy: "An onboard genetic lab is available for redevelopment if you choose. Provided there is life."

"Can we generate cyanobacteria?"

Derpy: "Possibly."

"What do you make of that light patch there?"

Derpy: "A craton. Primary spectrum once atmospheric compensation is accounted for suggests granite with basalt overlays. Average elevation is 2.6 kilometers above the mean planetary surface. Four have been detected so far. Observations suggest a rotational period of 2231 of a cycle. Rotational period may alter upon capture. Nevertheless, there may be more cratons on the far side."

 _*Subject spends some considerable time continuing to observe the planet. After 0235 of a cycle spent observing, including composite images from the infrared telescope array, the subject paused for sustenance, including attempting to develop a tea. Afterwards, he began conferring with his AI on various plans for further observations.*_

 _-_

 _Cycle 052:2021_  
 _Camera 2CB_

"We can get pretty good resolution on the second and the third planets. Don't really need to get into anything crazy to at least get a general idea of their neighborhoods. But anything else is—we'd have to develop probes of some kind."

Derpy: "Calculating optimal trajectories for you, Mr. Rich! Planet 3 and Planet 2 are easy to reach with a minimal ion drive and a small-body probe!"

"Right, since they're either the parent body, or they're on a converging trajectory and we'll be at about 25 million kilometer's separation in a few months. Doesn't fix the issue of travel time. Then there's the bloody big bastard deep down there in the well, and the three way out there. Big bastard's supposed to mosey on out and ruin everybody's day, right?"

Derpy: "Correct, Mr. Rich! It should head outwards to a distance between .65 and .78 AU from the parent star due to interactions with Planet 2! Such an event would be really bad for anyone not in orbit around Planet 2 or Planets 5 and 6! Planet 2 should still move out to 1.4 AU and pull in Planet 3 to settle into a retrograde satellite orbit. Orbital debris currently stable are expected to begin wildly changing orbit!"

"Nothing quite like playing billiards with 5 planets worth of asteroids!"

Derpy: "Mr. Rich, there is only 3.27 standard planetary masses of asteroidal bodies as extrapolated from local densities."

"Thank you, Derpy. I really didn't need to hear an exact headcount with multiple decimal places concerning the cold and icy death wanting to smush me."

Derpy: "Currently, there should be little ice in the deep system, save for any large moons pulled with Planet 1 from its formation point and any asteroids that have migrated inwards from the outer system."

"Figure of speech, Derpy."

Derpy: "I'm sorry, Mr. Rich. I am still conducting detailed analysis of the cultural database to better understand you!"

"It's fine. I don't exactly have anywhere else better to go. Yet. We've still got plenty of looking to do before we even try to go anywhere. Sitting in the middle of a system about to go through it's late heavy bombardment. Just great. Let's get back to work. We really need to find some shelter."

Derpy: "Bombardment is not expected to begin for approximately 1 million cycles at minimum. More likely will be 2-3 million orbital cycles of Planet 2 before bombardment begins."

 _"Fair enough."_

 _*Subject has again lapsed into dialect from State:United Kingdom. Curious. The lapses are not a consistent event, and no pattern has conclusively been established. It isn't a heightened emotional state, as on several occasions the subject has been in similar states without a lapse. Awe doesn't seem to be the emotional trigger either. Re-analysis will begin to see if previous slang uses occurred and were missed. Subject doesn't appear willing to engage in launching probes, which is interesting. Perhaps due to the recognition of the orbital distances involved. Transit times to Planet 3 at its closest approach without a constant-burn would be on the order of 90 cycles. Planet 2 could be reached by a probe in 16 cycles, provided it had a powerful enough ion drive to accelerate back to orbital speeds after falling back in orbit. The subject may intend to eventually abandon the Spacepost to travel in person to these other bodies. The experiment post at the retrograde orbital position for Planet 2 is at most risk of being discovered, but should be hidden by the asteroid there. The three posts in varying extreme orbits of Planet 1, 4 , and 5 should all be safe. Additional energy should be introduced into the magnetic field loops of Planet 2 to generate enough noise to drown out the trailing post (See_ _ **Experiment 1-958-2-003-752**_ _) and additional options may be pursued for the others.*_


	21. Chapter 21

**_Experiment 1-958-2-005-752_**

 _Cycle 054:1325_  
 _Camera 3CC_

 _*Subject has turned his attentions inwards towards Planet 1 and the system primary. A self-injury is expected, as Planet 1 is close to syzygy with the system primary from his perspective. A transit will occur in 8 cycles. An amusing stubbornness has gripped him as he attempts to discern the full nature of Planet 1. It is already too close to transit to observe it with his infrared arrays, and even a new optical telescope is being assembled to attempt to manage the feat and linked to a filter to protect against the solar output—Hydrogen Beta—with a mirror diameter of 1.5 meters and a focal length of 25 meters in an attempt to build a better telescope for long-term observation missions by his suit AI of all major bodies in the system. However, his insistence upon observing as many of the bodies as soon as possible will almost certainly ensure an injury.*_

 _*In the event of such an injury, the subject is likely to finally discover the full extent of the medical facility capacities. Looking through his telescope will lead to total blindness in the viewing eye and require cloning replacement of damaged tissues. Procedure time would be 1030 of a cycle for retinal repair operations and corrective nanite injection, and 4 more cycles before the replacement and corrective nanites fully restore sight. The chance for either withdrawal from danger or emboldening from this likely accident is about equal. Subject is attempting to observe again. Transcript is as follows.*_

 _Transcript: Suit Integral Microphone_

"God damn it all, it's hard to get a look at the big bloody bastard. Is that red color from the terminator, or is it the actual atmospheric color?"

Derpy: "Likely causes would be organic compounds. Most likely possibility is hydrocarbons and hydro-sulfates collected on the migration inwards. Solar input will affect the exact composition over time. The blue is from water vapor also collected. High concentration of atmospheric water and oxygen. 'Big Bloody' should eventually turn from red to blue as the ratio of water vapor relatively increases. Red bands will persist for the foreseeable future."

"So, red and blue. All it needs is some white and it becomes so goddamned patriotic that I'd have to salute it."

 _*Cultural Reference:_  
 _America/American Patriotism: A growing memetic propagation on the subject's homeworld. A form of hyper-nationalism focused on State: United States of America based upon its status as the most powerful state and its success in most endeavors granted by its natural resources and strategic position. Individuals indulging tend to coat all possible surfaces in the emblems of the country and feel an overwhelming need to pay respect to these emblems, even at inopportune times. Considered to be slightly disturbing by some aspects of the population of the planet and even the populace of State: United States.*_

 _*Planet 1's ratio of blue and red would more closely resemble the flag of State: United Kingdom than that of State: United States. Current slang use in respect to Planet 1 could be due to the subject subconsciously picking up on this ratio.*_

Derpy: "I do not understand. Please specify."

"I'll explain later. Any moons?"

Derpy: "Very well, Mr. Rich. Scanning. Unable to identify. Infrared starshine is washing out signs of moons. The automatic optical telescope is required for properly observing Planet 1 without risk."

"I know. It's getting too damn close to the star. I just want to see it with my own eyes for a bit before—"

 _*Subject misadjusts his optical telescope. The manual controls place the focus length too closely to the elevation and traversal controls, leading to the subject at this time blindly activating the traversal function while attempting to magnify the image. Subject catches 25% of the solar disk in his telescope before instinctively stepping away as the pain reflex kicks in.*_

"OH GOD! Sonuvabitch, fucknuggeting damnitall! Augh! AUGH!"

Derpy: "Warning! Distress! How much pain are you in, Mr. Rich?"

"I'll let you know when the sun stops light-jizzing in my eye! Oh fuck me! It's like somebody poured boiling milk in there and then kicked me with ice boots! Auuuuugh! AUGH! Oh, damnitall!"

Derpy: "Can you see out of your eye?"

"No! Pretty sure I blinded myself! All I can see is a big light blur! Augh, it's like sun-milk shot into my eye with a hose!"

Derpy: "The medical station can correct the damage. I think it would make you feel much better, and it would save your sight, Mr. Rich."

"Right, take me down there, Derpy. Oh, ow, damnfucktittykick. Ow, ow, ow, ow!"

Derpy: "Engaging automatic guidance now. I recommend you continue protecting your eye until you arrive, Mr. Rich! I'll be running calculations on developing a camera interface to make sure you don't blind yourself again! I should have done the research already! Am I a bad friend, Mr. Rich?"

"No, no… you're right. Already too close and too dangerous. I shouldn't have been adjusting the damn thing blindly. Ah, well. Blind eye means kickass eyepatch."

Derpy: "Interfacing with medical bay computer! Eyesight restoration possible! Procedure involves minor tissue replacement and nanite reconstruction!"

"And needles to the eye?"

Derpy: "Yes, Mr. Rich! Wait, oh. That would be bad."

"Yes it would. Yeah, just… put me under for the procedure. That'd be a good friend thing to do."

Derpy: "Right! Can do! Prepping gas-based anesthesia with the medical bay computer! You'll be alright, Mr. Rich!"

"Yeah, best buddy-friend. Just wish you could do more to help me."

 _*Anomalous activity picks up in computer systems. Several simultaneous searches begin, checking on Search Term: Derpy, Search Term: Remote Help, Search Term: Autonomous System, Search Term:-*_

 _*Warning! User rights control for Spacepost has been minimized! Read-only remote access! Fabrication systems activated! Processing load increasing to 100% on Spacepost main computer!*_

 _*Unable to figure out what the AI is attempting to do. It may be attempting to build more processing to jump the sapience gap. Continuing strange and random searches of the cultural database are proceeding, and it appears to have recognized the remote overrides and disconnected them. The secondary overrides should still be operational, but the experiment has not reached the point of danger yet. Remote probe dispatched to re-enable the remote overrides in a period of 20 cycles, and—really? Really? Well, that won't help the subject at all.*_


End file.
